Always Too Sweet
by DiAnna44
Summary: Nico didn't even like the coffee there much, but it didn't matter because of one reason. Of course, the very attractive Percy was not that reason. Of course he was. Nico a freshman in college who always goes to a certain coffee shop. Percy a third year in college who works at a certain coffee shop. What could go wrong? Nico x Percy. AU
1. part I

**part I**

* * *

Nico didn't even like the coffee there that much. He really didn't. Usually, it was just a bit too sweet and the taste was always kind of off. But it didn't matter how many times he told himself that he should just go to a different café to get his coffee, he never did. Of course, the very attractive Percy was not the cause of that.

Of course he was.

When Nico came in for the first time a few months ago, just moving to the city for the local college, he just wandered in and there he was.

Now, Nico wasn't gay as much as he was straight. He was in between, varying on different guys and girls but all of them had just been crushes. So when he met Percy for the first time, he knew he had a crush right away.

Percy, in his opinion, was everything he wanted to be. Percy had exactly the right amount of kindness in him, and his looks were just perfect with his sea-green eyes and shaggy bordering-between-black-and-brown hair. He was almost always smiling and he was sociable enough to be considered friendly but not too sociable to be considered annoying.

Of course, this is what Nico has gathered over the few months he's been coming here even though he barely exchanged words with Percy at all…he was too sociably awkward to do that so all he did was thank him for the coffee and sit down to watch him (not too obviously though).

Nico walks in, causing the bell at the top of the door to ring, alerting the staff of his presence. He watches as Percy looks up and gives him a wide smile. Percy automatically goes to work, already having Nico's preferred drink of choice memorized. Nico reaches for his wallet, pulling out the exact change. When Nico arrived at the desk, he smiles shyly at Percy who is grinning at him.

"How are you Nico?" Percy asks. Percy was in his third year of college, while Nico was just a freshman. He was sure Percy looked at Nico as some sort of accomplice-friend person. After all, they only talked in this very café.

"I'm good. You?" Nico asks, trying to limit his words to next to none. Percy's smile widened, making Nico's heart to lurch.

"I'm good too. I'm taking my girlfriend out for a date today and it's been a while since we could hang out so I'm pretty psyched," he informs Nico happily. Nico forces back his flinch.

He knew Percy had a girlfriend. In fact he's met her once when she visited Percy in the shop as a surprise. Nico liked her. Her name was Annabeth and she said exactly what was on her mind and the first thing she ever said to Nico was how much she liked his jacket. He had smiled shyly at her when it happened, unsure of how to respond. He had watched from his usual spot Percy and Annabeth talk and laugh like usual couples do and then she was gone, waving goodbye to the both of them as she walked out.

Nico zones back in on the present, and reminds himself of what Percy had just said.

"Oh that's cool. Hope it's fun," he manages to say. Percy gives him a weird look, but otherwise smiles.

"Here's your usual, Nico di Angelo," Percy says, handing him his coffee.

"Here's the usual amount, Percy Jackson…" Nico mumbles as he hands over the money. Percy gives him a wink and Nico turns quickly before Percy could see him blush.

_Stupid crushes_, Nico curses to himself as he grips his coffee before seating himself down.

It was like this every day.

* * *

Percy wasn't at work today.

That was the first thing he notices as he walks through the doors. Nico frowns at the replacement, Luke, who he only ever saw on the days Percy wasn't there, which was on Wednesdays and Saturdays, not Tuesdays. The bell rang, as usual, and Luke looked up.

"Well if it isn't Nico! How you been, man?" Luke calls out. Nico blushes, glancing around wildly, relieved to see no one was even in the café. He hates having the attention on him.

"Oh I'm good. Yeah. I forgot something. I need to go. Sorry," Nico stutters out. Luke grins.

"Nah it's okay. I understand. I'm not Percy so figured you'd say something like that. See you, Nico!" he says.

_Not Percy? What was he suggesting?!_ Nico exclaims to himself, as he stumbles out of the café. _Did he know something?! _Nico blushes at the thought, but kept walking.

He can't just go back in and confront Luke about it anyway. He just hopes Percy doesn't know anything.

* * *

The next day, Nico almost walks in before remembering it's Wednesday and that Percy doesn't work on Wednesdays.

Nico sighs to himself and turns to leave, but stops short when he notices Annabeth a ways back, staring at the store with an expression he can't place. Nico starts to panic, not sure if he wants to be seen by Annabeth, but before he can hide himself, Annabeth notices him.

"Nico?" she calls out, running up to him. Nico looks down. _Damnit._

"Annabeth?" he asks, trying his best to sound surprised too.

"Hey Nico! What are you doing in here?" Nico sees her smile, but for some reason it was strange. It seems forced, as if she was hiding a sadness of some kind.

"Oh uhm…I just stopped by to get some coffee…and-"

"Is Percy in there?" she asks, peeking over Nico's shoulder. Nico scrunches his nose at her.

Either it was bad of her to not know her boyfriend's schedule or it was bad of him to have it memorized.

He figures it was the latter.

"Oh no, he's off today," he informs her, trying to overcome his awkwardness. _Why doesn't she just call him if she wants to see him?_

"Ah," she says, looking down at her feet. Nico knew it. Something is not right here.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, trying his best to sound somewhat concerned. He is worried, to be honest, because he's afraid that the reason she's so worried might have been the reason Percy didn't come in yesterday. School is on break now, so he knows it wasn't that. He wants to know why Percy was off yesterday.

"Eh yeah, it's fine. Don't worry about it Nico. Well, see you later!" she says, turning to leave.

Before Nico can respond, she was gone from sight, and he sighs, still wanting to know what was going on.

_Oh well._

_It's not like it's my business anyway_, he thinks sourly to himself.

* * *

Nico stands in front of the café door, suddenly feeling very nervous.

Percy should be here today, but he isn't sure what he would do if he wasn't.

Percy, from his experience, only took sick days when it was an emergency, so what could have been going on?

He takes a deep breath, and opens the door, hearing the familiar ping of the bell. His eyes immediately focus on Percy, who is standing there in his usual place, but unlike other days, he looks strange. His hair, which was usually in a shaggy in a good kind of way, now looks messy but not in a good way. He has huge bags under his eyes, but that wasn't the thing that disturbs Nico the most.

It was the fact that Percy isn't smiling, and the fact that Percy did not look up when he walked in.

Nico stands there, completely still and unsure of how to act. Should he just leave? Does he really want his image of "perfect" Percy to disappear in his mind?

Nico shakes his head, determining that that was absolutely ridiculous. Percy can have bad days too.

Nico walks up to the register and it isn't until he is completely in front of Percy did Percy look up. The look in Percy's eyes destroys him.

"Can I have number six please?" Nico asks, numb to how he should act. Percy simply nods, devoid of any emotion.

"Yeah. That'll be $4.50," Percy says.

Nico nods. He knows that. He knows that Percy knows he knows that as well.

He pulls out the amount of money that he pays every day and hands it to Percy hesitantly. Their hands brush and Nico has to contain his shiver.

Percy is not himself. At. All.

Nico stands there, awkwardly, waiting for his coffee. The crappy thing about this café is that it was so unpopular that there was almost no one ever there. Plus, the workers usually ranged from one to three, and right now it seems to be just Percy manning the shop.

Nico doesn't know what to say or how to react to this kind of situation. He is always used to the smiling Percy. The super nice Percy. The Percy that seemed to never have one bad day, but this…this proved all of those Percys wrong.

This Percy seems broken and lost, and Nico doesn't know why.

Just the other day he had been so happy about going on his date with Annabeth an—Nico stops his thoughts midway.

_Annabeth! _

It has to do something with her! She was here the other day with that weird look on her face. Plus, she hasn't been acting like herself either. Did something happen between the two of them?

Before he knew what he was doing, Nico blurts out, "How was your date with Annabeth?" Nico's eyes widen at his nosiness and immediately he shifts his gaze down to the very interesting floor. What he doesn't expect is Percy's response.

"That's none of your damn business Nico," he practically snarls.

Nico, hurt and shocked, simply stares at him. He watches as Percy's face transforms into something that looks like remorse, but as soon as Percy hands him the coffee, Nico fled.

Obviously, Percy only thought of him as an annoying, nosy customer and Nico knows he is.

Anyway, he doesn't have time for this anymore anyway. School was starting soon, so what can he expect to happen?

What he doesn't expect was the single tear that was rolling down his very own cheek and Nico has to almost laugh at how ridiculous that was.

When was the last time he had cried?

Images of Bianca runs through his mind, but he pushes them back.

_Not now_, he forces himself to think. Percy's glare enters his mind again and he shivers. He downs the too-sweet coffee, before throwing the cup away.

If only he could throw away his feelings just as easily.

* * *

_***Hey guys! So this story has been in my mind for a while and originally it was just going to be a one-shot but nah...apparently not haha. Well, I imagine this story will have no more than 10 chapters, but we'll see right? Anyway, did you like it? I love reviews and thanks for reading! :)**_

_**Bai guys**_

_**-DiAnna44**_

My FanFiction Facebook Page- DiannaFanFictionWriter

My Tumblr- iwannapandanamedchubs

**_*edited- 8/13/15_**


	2. part II

**part II**

* * *

College starts again in two days and Nico knows he should start all the homework he was given, but no matter how many times he tells himself to stop thinking of Percy, he just can't stop thinking of the third-year. Percy attends the same college as Nico, but Nico isn't sure if Percy is aware of that fact.

He hopes that he isn't.

Nico sighs as he stares at the television screen. He lives in a two-bedroom apartment and he lives alone. Nico still isn't sure if he's up to living with a roommate or not. He doesn't necessarily like talking to people so much, but he wants _someone_ to talk to and hopefully distract him away from a certain crush. He thought that if someone lived with him then he could stop thinking of Percy so much.

Nico's fingers continue to press the skip button on the remote as he surfs through the channels trying to find something at least _mildly_ interesting.

In the end, he ends up on some show about the Greek and Roman gods. He's always found the aspect of gods interesting. In his mind, multiple gods is more plausible than just _God_, but he isn't a firm believer of anything really.

He sighs again, knowing that even if he were at the café today, Percy wouldn't be there. He thinks himself as pathetic as he tries to remember what he did before he was introduced to Percy, but his mind came up with nothing.

Nico closes his eyes and leans back into the sofa, wondering about all the "what ifs". He soon falls asleep to the continuous discussion about the gods.

* * *

"Welcome back, class. I hope you had a good winter break because I'm about to give you a lot more work," Paul Blofis says as he settles into his chair. Nico mentally groans and physically sends him a glare. Of course, he doesn't notice him since he sits in the very back, _literally_. Besides, not many people notice him anyway. Nico has made sure of that on his very first day here by ignoring everyone.

He does his work and he answers questions when asked, but as to friends and social clubs, there were next to none in his mind. Paul Blofis teaches Literature and Sciences, which doesn't equate in Nico's mind but whatever, it weren't his classes anyway.

Nico still doesn't know what he wants to major in.

In fact, one of the only reasons he is actually attending a college is to escape home.

Every since…Bianca…life at home has been pretty rough, but before Nico's thoughts can become too clouded, he forces them back down. He doesn't need to think about Bianca right now, or his family.

The class seems to go by quickly; some students fall asleep and others answer every question, but Nico doesn't say a word. It's not like he really cares all that much anyway.

When class is dismissed, Nico gathers the few items he has and heads to the library. He has the next class off, and his time at the library is when he gets to study and do the work he never does at home.

The walk to the library is fairly short from Literature, so when Nico arrives, the next class hasn't even begun yet. He looks around, noticing the students who were furiously typing on the computer and those buying coffee, and smiles. The library is always like this, which Nico's grateful for.

It's one of the only places that doesn't really change.

He starts toward his seat in the very back corner, but freezes in place when he sees who was in front of him.

Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, were standing right by his table, and were having, what looked like, a heated discussion. Nico stands there, confused and freaked out, but before they can turn and see him, he dashes behind a bookcase.

He debates leaving, but where would he go? This entire class period he spent in the library and the library only, and why is this the first time he's seen them in here anyway? He eventually decides that he's just going to stay and wait until they leave because surely they have class, right?

He can hear Annabeth speaking and tries not being interested in their conversation, but he can't help it. Hell, it seems like Nico can barely help anything lately.

"Percy, we need to talk about this," Annabeth insists.

"Please, don't." Nico hears Percy plead.

"_Percy_," Annabeth says. Nico knows he shouldn't be listening but he was concerned, despite the fact whether it's his business or not.

"Stop, Annabeth. I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Percy says. Nico frowns, still curious beyond belief what was going on.

"Okay," Annabeth agrees. "Okay fine. I'm leaving. Bye." Nico dashes more into the dark as Annabeth passes by in a flurry. Nico watches her leave, wondering what Percy is thinking right now and also what the hell is going on.

Nico peeks around the corner of the bookshelf to see Percy sitting down, with his head in his arms, looking absolutely miserable.

This is one of those moments Nico had no idea about what he should do. However, before Nico can figure out what he was going to do, Percy's gaze had fallen upon him.

"Nico?" Percy asks, frowning a bit. Nico freezes and seriously considers just running away, but he knows that would probably be considered kind of weird.

Plus, running isn't allowed in the library.

Nico brings up his right hand and gives it a weird jerky movement, which is supposed to be considered a wave.

"Oh hey, Percy," Nico says, acting completely surprised to see him here. Percy just stares at him so Nico continues to blab on. "Sorry. man if I was interrupting you or anything. I come in here this period since I have it off and all and—" He was cut off by Percy's abrupt laughter.

"I guess you heard that, right?" Percy asks, still laughing without a trace of humor in his voice.

"What?" Nico plays the innocent card. There was no way in hell he is going to be caught eavesdropping,_ especially_ on the third years.

"It's okay if you did. I don't really care anyway…." Percy says. Nico only stands there, awkward about this entire situation. Well, what is he supposed to do now?

"Oh…well…uhm…do you want coffee?" Nico asks suddenly as his gaze grabs hold of a student downing a cappuccino.

"What?" Percy asks.

"Oh. Well, do you want some coffee?" Nico asks again, completely embarrassed. Nico watches with covered horror as Percy purses his lips, debating on what he should do.

"Sure, but I'll pay," he says, standing up and heading towards the coffee machine. Nico stands, still rooted to the ground, deciding to wait until he gets back, but Percy had other plans. "Are you coming or not?" he asks, cracking a smile.

"Uhm...where are we going?" Nico's referring to the fact that Percy looks as if he was just ready to leave the library altogether rather than buy from the coffee machine.

"Oh, well, the coffee here is pretty good, but there's this pretty good café like right across the school. Of course it's not _our_ wonderful café, but it's still pretty good. I promise," he says.

"Oh," was all Nico manages to say.

And so they were off.

* * *

"What do you want?" Percy asks, managing a small glance toward Nico, who is staring at the order choices intently simply because he knows that if he looks at Percy then he would probably start to hyperventilate.

"Don't care," Nico quickly mutters, still avoiding Percy's gaze.

This is starting to feel too much like a date and yes, even though Nico likes that fact, he doesn't want it to be a one-sided date. Percy's lips tug upwards, causing a dimple to show and Nico curses himself for falling into the temptation of peeking a glance at the cute boy, much less his godly lips.

"Same as always?" Percy teases. "How's a mocha frap sound? Like I said, I'll pay. You got me out of there anyway."

Nico ignores his last bit, not wanting it to be awkward. "No, it's okay. I can pay," Nico insists. No matter how much he _does_ like the fact this is starting to seem like a date, he can't allow this to be considered any more like a date if he wants to remain calm.

Percy looks at him, but before he could insist that he could pay, Nico is already ordering and paying. Percy just shakes his head, an amused smile on his face, as he orders and pays too.

"Okay then," Percy mumbles. Nico notices that Percy's still smiling and he's glad. He still doesn't know what's going on, but it isn't his business anyway, right? Nico purses his lips realizing that his acceptance of the fact of not knowing did not lessen his curiosity at all.

They seat themselves down at a table by the window and sit across from each other. Silence ensues, and despite the fact that Nico is burning with questions, he doesn't say a word. It's Percy who finally breaks the silence.

"So, you go to my college?" he asks. Nico avoids flinching at the blunt revelation.

"Yeah. I'm a freshman," he informs Percy. Percy smiles again.

"I could tell," he says. Nico instantly straightens.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" he exclaims.

"Oh...nothing," Percy says coyly. Nico frowns at Percy's teasing tone, but before he can react he remembers Percy's "bad mood" as he called it. Nico remembers that he was caught eavesdropping and he can feel a blush starting to creep up so before Percy realizes that he's slowly turning red, he brings his hand up to his face and slaps himself.

"What the hell?" Percy jumps up, apparently startled by Nico's sudden, abusive action.

"Oh. Sorry. It's just something I do when...I get impatient," Nico lies, nothing short of lame. Percy raises his eyebrows but doesn't comment and all the while Nico's mentally cursing himself for saying something so utterly stupid. Another awkward silence arises between the pair of them, and once again it's Percy who breaks it.

"I guess you want to know what happened, right?" he asks.

"What? Oh no...it's okay. It's not my business anyway..." Nico stutters out.

"Well, you were already eavesdropping so what's the harm? Plus, it's not like what happened is really that important to you anyway. I'm guessing human curiosity, right?" Nico starts to shake his head, but realizes that that excuse was perfect rather than the real truth, which was that he's just so concerned about Percy he wants to know how to help, to maybe, just maybe, further his relationship with him. So, he nods. Percy starts to smile but it soon fell, for reasons Nico can not determine. Percy seems to be internally struggling, so Nico decides to help him.

"You don't have to tell me," he says.

"My mom's in a coma," Percy blurts out before he can even register what Nico had said.

_Wait...what?_

Before Nico can offer any words, Percy continues to speak.

"I found out days ago and I went off the deep end for a day or two. Annabeth tried to cheer me up, but we ended up getting in a fight. She's...she hasn't had a good family life at home, so all I could really feel was that she couldn't really relate, you know? I really love my mom, but she practically hates her dad and shit shit _shit_ don't ever tell her I just said that. I swear I didn't mean to and—"

"Percy, calm down. I won't tell anybody anything," Nico promises. "Besides, it's not like I have friends anyway haha." That caught Percy's attention.

"What?" he asks.

"What?" Nico asks, equally confused. He notices that Percy's biting his lip and Nico thinks that it's freaking cute.

"You don't have any friends?" he asks. Nico looks down by the true statement.

"Oh...that," he mumbles, admiring the table and wondering when the hell their coffee would be ready. It's been like five minutes at least, right? It's not like there were that many people in here and they both just ordered two simple drinks so why the hell—

"What do you mean _that_? Nico...that's...no...just _no_," Percy exclaims. Nico's confused.

"What's the big deal?" he asks.

"_What's the big deal?!_ Dude, you're in _college_ and you're telling me you don't have any friends?! That is not _good!_ Besides, it's not true anyway," he says.

"What do you mean?" Percy gives Nico a grin and a small shrug.

"Well, come on, man. I just told you about my...mom...and well, you _are_ my friend. So, I guess you can call me your only friend, which is going to change soon, you know that?" Percy explains happily. Nico just stares at him cursing everything.

He knew it was coming and he knew it was going to happen, but for some reason it was just painful.

Nico di Angelo just got friend zoned and he still wants to know when his damn coffee would be ready, and for some reason he had the feeling that this coffee was going to be nothing short of bitter.

* * *

_***Okay so it might seem like I'm fishing for compliments when I say this (I'm not) but I genuinely just did not like this chapter. Hopefully you did, and just wait for better chapters to come. Like okay fine, the ending was all right but I hated the beginning even though it had the elements of what I needed (Nico's living situations, college, etcetera etcetera), but hey to make up for it the chapter ITSELF is 2,330 words so yay? ^.^'**_

_**Anyway, reviews are much appreciated and thank you for reading!**_

_**Bai guys. :)**_

_**-DiAnna44**_

My FanFiction Facebook Page- DiannaFanFictionWriter

My Tumblr- iwannapandanamedchubs

_***edited- 8/13/15**_


	3. part III

**part III**

* * *

Nico was honestly starting to doubt that Percy had any other friends.

He was only thinking this because even though Nico was pretty much in love with the guy, Percy seemed to spend almost every waking hour with him, as _friends_ of course. After their little talk in the café that day, they exchanged numbers and Percy asked what he was doing in the library in the first place, in which Nico responded with the truth of how it was his study time blah blah blah.

To which, it is mentioned that instead of going off and doing jack shit like Percy usually does, it was a good idea, so now every second period, they would be hanging out together. Of course, Nico was delighted with this news but he was also nervous at first, because he didn't know how it would go.

And Nico knew that Percy had friends. He had tons of them. He's seen them with him loads of times, so where did they all go? It seemed almost as if Percy was ignoring everybody but him, which even though it does please Nico immensely, it is not right for Percy's current state of mind to do that.

Nico di Angelo didn't know what to do.

He stared down at the essay that he hasn't even started in utter despair. Percy would be arriving soon so maybe he could ask? Nico shook his head at that thought, immediately deciding against it. He groaned in his head and put his head down on the table. His eyes shifted to the clock.

Percy was late.

"He's been acting kind of weird though."

Nico sat up at the sound of the sudden voices. Two girls suddenly appeared from the corner of a bookcase and Nico instantly recognized him. Well isn't it just convenient that after thinking about Percy's friends, they appear.

Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Thalia Grace are two forces of nature in this college. Tons of guys are practically in love with them, constantly trying to get them to join their clubs and or go to parties with them, but they were forces of nature because they didn't care. They didn't fall in love easily according to the rumors, and another rumor is that they themselves started it.

Nico frowned at his thoughts. Who knew he was such a gossip queen?

"When's the last time you talked to him?" Thalia asked. "I tried talking to the idiot yesterday but he completely ignored me."

"He's doing the same to me. I don't know. He just goes off and I know that Annabeth knows something but when I asked, she just said that it wasn't my business. She's right; it's just that I get the feeling that something is going terribly wrong with Percy. I just don't know what," Rachel said. Nico took in her words, realizing finally that they were talking about his crush.

When did the library become such a good place for eavesdropping? They still haven't noticed him staring at them, and for that, he was undoubtedly thankful.

"What does he do during second period now?" Thalia asked.

"I don't know...a few days ago I saw him with that weird, cute freshman. You know, the one who never talks and is like emo I think," Rachel informed Thalia. Nico rolled his eyes at her description of him. He wasn't _emo_. They didn't need to go that far. Whatever. It didn't matter to Nico anyways. _  
_

"Oh shit...isn't that him?" Nico had to control the urge to roll his eyes again as he shifted his gaze immediately back down towards his essay. Did they know that people can hear what they are saying when they are literally six feet away from them? He remained quiet, giving no inclination of having heard them.

"Yeah oh my god it is," Rachel said, lowering her voice just somewhat. Nico could still hear them.

"So Percy was hanging out with him? I've never seen him before except a few times here maybe. Have they been friends long? Are you sure it's him?" Thalia asked.

"I don't know...maybe not..." Rachel said quickly. Nico forced his pen to move across the page, and he was starting to feel a little guilty for eavesdropping but hey...they were talking about him, weren't they? He had the right, he figured.

"Oh. Well let's go. We're already late for the meet up," Thalia suggested.

"Okay. Let's go," Rachel agreed.

Nico breathed a sigh of relief when they were gone, and then thought about what they said. They talked about how Percy was ignoring his friends...why?

"So I am right," he muttered to himself.

"Right about what?" Nico looked up, surprised to see Percy standing there with his usual friendly smile. It was as if the Friendzone smacked him the face again when he smiled like that.

"Oh...uhm about what the word legit. Did you know that it stands for legitimate? Interesting discovery, right?" Nico stuttered out. What the hell did he just say?

"Uhm yeah. I knew about that "interesting discovery" already. Hate to burst the excitement," Percy teased as he sat himself down.

That was when the worst thing that Nico could ever imagine happened. Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Thalia Grace had come back.

"Percy?" Rachel's voice rung out like a clattering bell in the silent library. Well...almost silent. Nico watched as Percy visibly stiffened and turned around, nice and awkwardly.

"Oh uhm hey guys," Percy said, managing a forced smile. Nico stared down at his table in shame, not wanting to make eye contact. He still found it kind of ironic that Percy had practically promised him that day in the café that he would get Nico more friends when he was ignoring his own. Why did his friends come back anyways?

"That's it? _Oh __umm hey guys?_ That's _all_ you can say when you've been ignoring us for days?" Thalia seethed, stepping closer.

"I haven't been ignoring you," Percy said. Nico grimaced. Even he could tell that Percy was lying, but the main question was _why? Why _was Percy suddenly acting as if Nico was his only friend in this world when Percy had tons? Even Nico didn't understand it. Not that he was complaining much...

"Don't lie to me, Percy Jackson," Thalia snapped. Percy paled. Nico studied Percy and saw how uncomfortable he looked. Even though Nico didn't know why he was doing it, he couldn't leave him to the sharks.

"I'm Nico," Nico said, breaking the silence that would have lasted longer if not for him. Nico bit his tongue, shocked at the fact that he said anything. Nico didn't like people, so why socialize with them?

"Yes...you are. I'm Thalia and this is Rachel. How do you know Percy?" Thalia asked. Nico simply stared at her, already cursing himself for speaking at all. He was such a fool. Especially a fool for Percy Jackson.

"Thalia..." Percy warned.

"I'm his friend," Nico suddenly whispered, trying to keep the contempt out of his voice when he said the word 'friend'. Would Percy ever know that he wants to be so much more? _No...he will not_, Nico decided.

"Yeah. Well we're Percy's friends too. At least I _think_ we are," Thalia sneered. Percy flinched.

"You know you are," he assured them.

"Really, Percy? Are you sure about that? Because it doesn't seem like you care about your friends anymore," Rachel whispered, sadly.

"I'm sorry guys...it's just...I can't really explain it..." Percy trailed off, not helping his situation at all. Thalia and Rachel both just stared at him, and Nico was starting to feel incredibly uncomfortable.

"You know...we know something happened. We don't know what since Annabeth refuses to tell us, but Percy you must know that we're here for you. We are your friends and now your spending time with someone like Nico and I don't know... it's just...confusing," Thalia stated, which made Percy bristle in his seat.

"What do you mean 'someone like Nico'? What's wrong with him?" Percy asked, almost angrily. Thalia threw a worried glance at Nico, but Nico didn't really care.

He knew what they were talking about. He's heard it all year. It's why he didn't have any friends.

Nico was...scary to most, especially to those who didn't know him, and that was also the reason that Nico liked Percy so much. Because as soon as Nico walked into that café, Percy smiled at him, and not one of those fake cashier smiles in which he's paid to do, but a real smile.

And Nico fell instantly and hard, and as soon as he said his first word to Percy, he knew there was no going back on that.

"_Nothing_ is _wrong_ with him, Percy. Calm down. It's just that you don't usually hang out with freshman, and if you do they're usually more...social," Rachel assured Percy.

"But the question is how _do_ you know Percy, Nico?" Thalia cut in.

"We met in his café," Nico said. "I was a customer and we became friends?"

"Just like that? What...did you talk for hours or something? In just one visit?" Thalia asked, too curious in Nico's opinion.

"No no. Nico's a regular there," Percy said, smiling for one of the first times that day. Nico had to blink to get rid of the sun that was practically oozing from Percy's smile.

"Why?" Thalia asked, as if horrified by that very aspect.

"What do you mean '_why'_? What's wrong with my café?!" Percy exclaimed.

"I don't know Percy. It's just that the coffee there is either too sweet or too bitter. It's you who makes it, right? You need to work on that," Thalia suggested. Percy was glaring at her and Rachel stifled a snicker.

"Yeah well whatever," Percy muttered.

"You are okay right Percy?" Rachel asked.

"Mhm," he mumbled.

"I don't believe you but I'm not going to ask. Maybe we can hang out sometime, okay? You can bring Nico of course. He's invited," she said.

"Okay," Nico and Percy said at the same time. Thalia raised an eyebrow but said nothing as she and Rachel walked off, seemingly much happier. Nico never figured out why they came back.

"Ready to start studying?" Percy asked, excitedly, turning towards Nico. Nico cracked a small smile and nodded.

"Yeah. Let's start," he agreed.

* * *

_"Come on Nico...pleasssseeeeee," Bianca asked. _

_"But I don't want to!" he protested. _

_"Nico. You cannot stay cooped up in here playing Mythomagic all day long! You need to get out and explore the world!" she exclaimed, pulling on Nico's jacket. Nico simply glared at her. _

_"I don't like people," he stated simply._

_"Nico di Angelo, you are almost seventeen and you need to stop playing your card games. I'm worried about you. Please. It's just a birthday party. Only like twenty people will be there," she added. _

_"Why should I come? I don't even know who the person who the party is being held for," he pointed out. _

_"Well you _will_ if you come," she said. Nico rolled his eyes, but he was already won over and Bianca knew it. He was already somewhat smiling. _

_"How are we going to get there?" he asked. _

_"I'll drive of course. So you're coming? Okay good. It's this Saturday and I expect you to be somewhat _social_, okay? Do you promise me, Nico?" she asked. _

_"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, smiling now. Bianca smiled at him. _

_"Okay good."_

_As Bianca was walking away, Nico called out to her and said, "Oh and Bianca? Don't say 'it's this Saturday' as if that is in a few days. It's just tomorrow, okay?" _

_"Whatever you punk!" she called, not looking back as she rushed into her room. _

_Nico only smiled. _

_..._

_Someone screamed. _

_..._

_Apologies for his loss. _

_..._

_No one understood._

_... _

_He could still see the blood. _

_..._

_The fights at home only got worse._

_..._

_He had to leave. He needed to escape. _

* * *

Nico woke up gasping. The sweat clung to his brow like honey and he could feel the tears pricking at his eyes. He grasped his wrist, turning it over to reveal the scar, which he did every time he had that nightmare. His wrist always burned when those horrific memories would come back to him, and he knew why. But he couldn't tell anybody. Not anyone.

It was his one big secret and he was going to always keep it that way.

The burn of the cigar bud would always be scarred on him, reminding him of that night.

That night where he wished he could have stayed in his nightmares for reality had been far more worse.

* * *

**_*Hahahahaha...hahahaha...hahaha...haha...ha. Welcome to the angst. So yah I didn't like this chapter all that much. And I realized that this fic might be just a lot longer then ten chapters. I see the future of this fic and it is wonderful. ^.^' Anyways, I love it when you guys review because I like knowing what you thought of my chapter and etcetera etcetera, you get the gist. Please leave a review? Sorry that this chapter isn't longer but oh well, over time the chapters will probably get longer._**

**_HM. Just now realized there was not an ounce of coffee in this chapter. Oh well. Hahaha. Needed to set up the ANGST. :3 _**

**_Well bai guys. :)_**

**_-DiAnna44_**

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**


	4. part IV

**part IV**

* * *

Nico was considering the fact of therapy. He thought he was getting better, but his nightmares have only been getting worse.

He groaned, knowing that there was no way in hell he could write this essay with this on his mind. He just had to get out of this damn apartment. It was stifling being all alone in a completely silent housing area. He stood up, grabbing his jacket and quickly slipping on his boots, and walked out, locking the door behind him.

So now what? He thought about going to the café, but he knew that if he did, Percy would notice something. He figured that out kind of quickly, the fact that after Percy truly gets to spend more time with people, he can call out when they're feeling bad etcetera etcetera. It instilled a small amount of hope in Nico that maybe Percy spent more time than most boys observing him, but he had quickly diminished that thought, knowing that it would lead him absolutely nowhere.

So yeah. He's not going to the café today. He just wanted to walk around. Maybe he could go the park? Nico sighed at his own incapability of making such a simple decision.

The thought of therapy came creeping back into his mind and Nico suddenly was fighting the urge to cry. Yes, he needed to leave right _now._

He started thinking about what he didn't want to think about and that was Bianca. Why did she always come to mind when he was the most vulnerable to his own feelings? Was it because she had always been the one to help with those very feelings? He didn't really know but he did know this couldn't keep happening.

When Nico finally came back to his senses, he had already walked at least a block. He looked around, noting the familiar houses and buildings, but with where his mind was at the moment, he couldn't remember where he was. Nico sighed, exasperated by himself.

"This is stupid," he grumbled, turning to the left, still able to recognize the houses. Why did this place seem even more familiar than most places? Nico sighed, shaking his head, deciding he was probably reading too much into it like he does everything else.

Where was he going anyways?

Wait why was he out here again?

Oh yeah...to clear his head...well consider that accomplished...

Suddenly, Nico found himself at a street light. And then he knew exactly where he was.

* * *

He woke up in the hospital. He noticed that instantly as he opened his eyes and saw the nurse in the side of the room. Plus, it was only a hospital that could be this freaking cold.

He hated hospitals.

He _hated _them. He tried to sit up, but a wave of pain shot through his head and he groaned, also catching the attention of the nurse.

"Oh you woke up! Good!" she exclaimed happily, rushing to his side.

Nico squinted at her and tried to remember what had happened, but failing miserably. All he remembered was walking to get his mind off of things. Obviously...this was not what he meant when he wanted to get his mind off of things.

"What happened?" he croaked out. He blushed at his voice, but the nurse didn't seem to care. Why would she?

"You fainted, dear," she informed him, fixing up his pillows. "It's nothing too serious and you should be out by tomorrow morning. We're keeping you here to make sure this isn't a long-term affect thing. Although, when we brought you in we did notice some things that we want to talk to you about..."

Nico stilled, horror-struck. Oh no. She wasn't going to mention, was she?

"Like what?" he asked, trying to play cool. He watched as the nurse pursed her lips, and seemed to contemplate something. Nico had a very bad feeling she was contemplating mentioning the very thing he did not want her to mention.

"Well we'll leave that up for the doctor in the morning!" she said cheerfully, obviously deciding against mentioning it. Nico only nodded. He felt parched and he wanted something to drink and eat.

"Am I allowed some food, maybe? And could I have a coffee?"

Nico did not want coffee. He did not know why he mentioned it in the first place, but then Percy came flashing in his mind, and he knew again. _Damnit_, he swore to himself. The nurse looked appalled.

"Coffee?! It is almost ten o'clock at night and you obviously need your rest! No, I'm sorry, sir, but I can't allow it. Food however...I can bring you a small fruit, but you must try and go to sleep after that, okay?" The nurse was obviously very worried about his safety and Nico managed a small smile at that. He wanted to go home. He did not want to be here at all. He hated hospitals. Hospitals were a part of his childhood and he wished they weren't.

"Thank you," he said. The nurse smiled at him and left, and then he was alone, miserable, and cold. He sighed and leaned his head back, thinking about what classes he was going to miss tomorrow.

He would have to make sure to grab a doctor's note to excuse himself. His first two teacher's would probably kick him out of their class if he showed up so late without a doctor's note.

The nurse came back in two minutes later, this time carrying a small glass of water and a banana.

"Thanks," he told her, smiling as she placed next to him on his small table. He hated hospitals.

Soon enough, he ate his food and was off to dreaming.

* * *

He woke up to the sound of the door opening, and like last night, was instantly reminded that he was in a hospital by the cold air that smelled like medicine. If that made any sense whatsoever. He peered at the two doctor's who walked in, both holding clipboards, and the nurse that helped and fussed over him so much last night. They watched him, and Nico felt as if he was being studied.

"Nico di Angelo, right?" The taller doctor asked. His voice was super deep.

"Yeah," Nico said. "That's me. You wanted to talk about something?" he asked, remembering how the nurse said he'd be asked in the morning.

The shorter doctor nodded.

"Yes. We do. I'm Dr. Phillips, and this is Dr. Jasons. Dr. Jasons actually studies more in the field of psychology, and I'm just a simple every-day doctor," he told Nico, with the same cheery expression that the nurse had on last night. Nico frowned.

_There it was. They're going to ask about my scars, and think I'm troubled, _Nico thought bitterly.

"Okay," Nico responded simply. Dr. Jasons, the taller one, frowned at Nico's response.

"We'd like to talk about something we discovered when the young lady brought you here from the street," Dr. Jasons said, obviously taking control.

"Like what? My old cuts? How about the cigar burn? Or what about the bags under my eyes that haven't left since I was eleven?" Nico snapped. He could hear the nurse gasp, and Dr. Phillips looked away uncomfortably, but Dr. Jasons simply assessed him.

"Yes, that exactly, actually," Dr. Jasons responded, just as bluntly, yet much more professional. Nico went silent. He did not want to discuss this. He had classes at his college that he was missing. He wanted to leave. He hated hospitals. He _hated _them.

"Can I leave?" Nico finally managed to say, his voice suddenly very weak. He couldn't do this. He didn't want to do this. Not today. He was nineteen. He could make this decision. He didn't want to stay. "Please?" he pleaded again.

Dr. Jasons gave him that look that he hated. The one that he got all the time after Bianca died. Pity.

"I'm leaving," he said, with more force this time. He forced himself out of bed, and he was expecting them to say something. He was still in his clothes, instead of the usual gown he had always been forced to wear when coming here long ago. He grabbed his jacket, which he saw to the very right of him at the last second, and hurried out of the room.

They didn't stop him.

Why weren't they stopping him?

_They don't actually care,_ he thought bitterly. _They just want my money and to assess me like I'm some sort of messed-up kid. I'm not though...right?_

He checked out, taking the hospital bill with him, and before he knew where he was going, he was running.

The thought of his classes vaguely entered his mind, but he pushed them away with force. He did not want to think about anything right now.

* * *

When he got back to his apartment, he was frustrated. He ripped off his jacket and threw it against the couch angrily.

"Damnit," he muttered to himself. He thought he had it under control. When was the last time he had blacked out like that?

He felt miserable and stupid. He glanced at the clock, knowing that it was time when Percy and him would be meeting up. Would he care that he was gone? Nico didn't know, and that stung him as well.

He trudged to his room, taking off his shirt in the process and he stopped when he passed in front of the mirror.

He stared and stared, looking at his skinny, pale, unattractive body as if it were something foreign to him.

_Do I hate myself,_ he wondered idly as he passed his hand over his stomach that was so, so pale. He could have been dead and no one would tell the difference. He smiled softly when he remembered all of Bianca's complaints about how he needed to go out and get a tan.

He didn't know he was crying until he noticed his tears in the mirror. He tried wiping them away, but they kept coming and Nico wondered why.

He felt sad and lonely, but was grateful he didn't have a roommate to witness this. He just wanted to be happy.

And he was getting there. He knew he was. Just yesterday, he felt a small flicker of happiness when Percy smiled right at him. And the day before, the happiness had come when Percy patted him on the back when he wrote down the correct answer when they were studying.

_How sad_, Nico mused, _that a heterosexual boy completely oblivious to his feelings were the only source of his happiness nowadays._

He groaned and made his way to his bed, where he fell to it. He turned his head into the pillow and once again, lost himself in his tears.

* * *

Somehow, he had found himself at the café once again. It was late evening, and Nico stood there, staring at the sign that blinked **OPEN.**

He wanted to feel happy again, and he needed to feel happy again. He opened the door and it gave it's usual ring, which put a warmth of familiarity in his heart. Geez, he was being freaking sappy.

His gaze instantly went to the cashier but he found it empty, and when he looked around, he saw the rest of the café was empty too. Did they forget to turn over the **OPEN** sign? No...Nico knew they were open until ten and he knew that even if they were closed, the door would have been locked.

So where was Percy? In fact, where was _anybody? _

He walked in, and walked towards the cashier register. Nobody.

He glanced under the tables, because why the hell not? Nobody.

Then he heard a laugh. Someone was laughing. Well that was good, right? It had come from the worker's backroom and he started towards the room, but then he froze.

Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase were, what looked to be, an incredibly important, passionate kiss.

Nico could not move as he watched Percy lace his fingers gently in Annabeth's hair and Nico wondered what the would feel like if Percy was doing that to his own hair. He shuddered to get rid of the thoughts, and suddenly, they were no longer kissing.

Annabeth was the one who noticed him and that made Nico's insides ball up in hurt. Percy didn't even realize he had been here, but what had he expected?

Percy Jackson did not like him back. Why would he?

"Nico!" she exclaimed, blushing from head to toe. Percy followed her in that action soon after turning himself into a living tomato as well.

"Hey Nico! I was wondering where you were!" he exclaimed nervously. He seemed to be really embarrassed and suddenly Nico was irrationally angry.

He had come here to be happy. He had come here to see Percy's smile. He had come here to talk to him, but it looked as if that was not going to happen at all. He didn't even know who he was angry at.

He supposed he was angry at Percy for being fucking amazing and not giving a damn who he hurt without knowing it (although of course that was harsh), at Annabeth for ruining the night he had invisioned and for being the one Percy chose, and most of all himself for ever falling in love with Percy in the first place.

"Oh...ermm...I'll just leave," Nico stuttered out, covering his irrational anger.

"No! You can stay! Don't let Annabeth and I getting back on good terms stop that!" Percy tried to persuade Nico by saying this, but it only made him more angry. Of course, Nico did not show it.

"No. It's not that. I just remembered that I had somewhere I needed to be...thanks though," he managed out awkwardly, trying his best not to punch the wall.

He watched as Percy's stupid attractive face fell. Annabeth, however, only looked at him curiously as if studying him. He didn't like it. It reminded him too much of how Dr. Jasons had been looking at him.

"Oh. Well at least take a cup of coffee would you? It's free," Percy said, leaving Annabeth's side to go make a quick cup of coffee before Nico could even protest. It was just him and Annabeth, awkwardly standing there while facing each other. Neither one of them said a word and somehow Nico found his gaze on Annabeth's lips. He was trying to imagine again that instead of Annabeth it was him that got to kiss Percy like that. Annabeth frowned at him and he looked away, beyond awkward.

Percy came back, saving him from the weird tension that had come from standing near Annabeth for so long, and handed him his coffee.

"Thanks," Nico muttered dryly. "Well, I'll be off..."

"See you Nico," Percy said happily.

Annabeth just waved at him, still frowning slightly. Nico paled in return and hurried out of there, taking a sip of the coffee that Percy had made him.

And it didn't seem right to Nico that this was one of Percy's best cups of coffee that he had ever had.

It wasn't fair.

* * *

**_*Here's your update! And there's coffee! Haha...anyways please leave a review and continue on this journey of writing with me! *winks* _**

**_Bai guys. _**

**_-DiAnna44 :)_**

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**


	5. part V

**part V  
**

* * *

The phone ringing was what woke Nico up. After seeing last what had happened last night, he had come home and shut himself in his room, not wanting to think about anything related to Percy or coffee.

"Hello?" he asked, groggily, blinking at the sun that was barely streaming through. Nico could tell it was _very_ early in the morning. Technically, he wouldn't even have to be awake for college until a few hours, so he was sort of irritated that someone was calling him so early in the morning.

"Is this Nico di Angelo?" a voice too sharp for Nico in the morning said.

"Yes?" he responded, yawning quickly. He didn't want to seem too rude.

"I am calling you to remind you of your appointment that you have scheduled today," she informed.

"What appointment?" Nico asked, frowning. He didn't have any appointments. What were they talking about?

"It's your appointment with Dr. Jasons. It's scheduled at seven thirty at NorthRidge Hospital," the lady said. Nico thought for a moment. Dr. Jasons? That sounded familiar to him but why...? A flash of the memory of yesterday came into his mind and he recalled that Dr. Jasons was the psychologist from before...although he never scheduled an appointment...? Nico bit back a curse when he realized that was probably why Dr. Jasons had allowed him to leave; so that he could schedule an appointment under his name.

"Yes, okay. I'll be there," he said. He had to give the man some credit, and he wanted to see what Dr. Jasons would try and ask him to analyze his "psychological" state of mind. Nico scoffed after he hung up.

He knew that he needed to go to college, but he didn't want to see Percy today. Besides, he was the one paying for it, and the last few days have been the only days he's missed all semester. Also, he'd have an actual excuse...a trip to the doctor's office.

_Joy._

* * *

Percy was calling him and Nico really, _seriously_ wanted to pick up, but Nico didn't want to talk to Percy after what had happened. He didn't think Percy really noticed anything weird with him, but maybe that was why he didn't want to talk to him because he would be absolutely fine.

Nico couldn't handle hearing the phone keep vibrating in his pocket because every second he got closer to wanting to pick up so he just sent Percy straight to voicemail knowing that Percy knew that he did.

Besides, it's not like he would be able to talk to Percy anyways since he just arrived at the stupid hospital.

Nico thought for a moment why he even came to this "appointment" but he couldn't find a valid reason. He eventually went in because an old man was squinting at him and Nico didn't like to be thought as some sort of emo loiterer by people, especially the elderly.

Nico knew that didn't really make any sense but whatever.

He walked towards the main desk and got checked in pretty quickly and before Nico really knew what was happening, he was being led down a hall to what looked to be a room for therapy. Nico instantly regretted ever coming.

He felt his phone vibrate again, and he pulled it out, planning on putting it on silent, but his breath drew up short when he saw the name flickering on the screen.

_No, this is impossible, _Nico thought to himself just as the door was whipped open by Dr. Jasons. Dr. Jasons smiled at him, but Nico simply glanced back down at his phone only to see that it was silent. There was no sign of any call, and Nico blinked, wondering what just happened.

"Hello Nico," Dr. Jasons greeted as he held the door open wider so that Nico could stumble in, still in his stupor from what may or may not have just happened. "I'm glad you actually came. Most don't show up until the fourth appointment is scheduled."

It took a little too long for Nico to finally process the man's words.

"So you do this often? Set up appointments without the patients knowing about it?" Nico asked, genuinely curious as to what went through this guy's head. Dr. Jasons gave a wry smile.

"Sometimes, it's necessary. If I didn't do it, then they would never come in," he admitted. Nico simply pursed his lips, wondering why he had showed up again for the third time. "Sit, if you want."

Nico sat, but not because he wanted to.

"Do you know why you're here, Nico?" Dr. Jasons asked as he pulled out the same clipboard from yesterday and sat across from him.

"I think so," Nico replied. "At least I'm 95% sure, but you're going to tell me anyways, right?"

"I saw your file," Dr. Jasons said, ignoring what Nico just said, but proving his point nonetheless.

Nico only nodded; his suspicions confirmed.

"Okay," Nico supplied awkwardly. He wanted to leave.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Nico responded quickly. He really didn't.

"Did you just move out with your dad?" Dr. Jasons asked, continuing on as if nothing had been said.

"Yeah," Nico said.

"Do you want to talk about that?"

"No."

"What about your sister?"

"No."

"Do you think you'll ever want to talk about it?"

"No," Nico gritted out, getting tired of this doctor's indifference to everything. It's not like he wanted pity but he didn't want to be looked at as a pet project. He just didn't want to go to school because he didn't want to see Percy and his insufferable eyes and concerned expression. He just didn't want to see that. Besides, this doctor was prying into the things he left behind for a reason. He didn't see any reason to go back there so why did he have to talk about it? It doesn't matter.

He wasn't harming himself as much anymore anyways.

Isn't that a good thing?

"Nico, do you have any suicidal tendencies? After you answer that, you can go home. I will not schedule another appointment with me, but instead with another psychologist of whom I think you will get along with. Please, can you at least give me that answer?"

Nico sighed and thought about his question. Did he have any suicidal tendencies? No...he used to, but not anymore.

"Not anymore," was what he finally muttered. Dr. Jasons sighed in relief and Nico wondered why this man ever wanted to become a doctor in the first place. To listen to people's problems...where was the fun in that?

"I can leave now, right?" Nico asked, already standing up. He was starting to feel sick to his stomach.

"Yes. Just make sure to sign out and get that note for your university. Wouldn't want that money to go to waste, would we?"

Nico honestly didn't care because it was his father's money, but he did care about staying in college so he gave a tight smile and nodded stiffly.

He rushed out of the room as politely as he could and let out a large breath as soon as he was safe outside the door.

_Now I just need to check out_, he thought to himself as he glanced around, looking for the nurses. As he started to walk to the main desk, he heard a familiar voice that he didn't really want to hear at the moment.

"So this is Percy's mom?" A voice that sounded suspiciously like Thalia asked. What is it with Nico and eavesdropping?

"Yeah," answered Annabeth.

"I can see the resemblance," Thalia said and Nico could hear the smile in her voice. "So how's he handling it?" Nico imagined Annabeth shaking her head like she does when she responds to people.

"Not very well. I've tried talking to him about it, but that was what caused us to take a break in the first place. Honestly, I feel like we're only back together because he needs to find some sort of comfort in his life. I think he's just looking for something normal to hold onto, and I guess at any other time, I would have been upset that he was using me in such a way, but right now, he needs it. I love him, and maybe he still loves me, but either way, I'm going to be here for him. He needs me, so I'll help him," she stated sadly. Nico's eyes widened at the news (not that it made the situation overall any better).

He didn't want to hear anything else, so rather than sticking around to hear Thalia's response, he rushed on ahead.

Nico practically ran out of the hospital after checking himself out. He didn't want to go to school, but he didn't want to go back there more. So instead of having to face his past, he'd rather face Percy. Nico knew he needed to face Percy. He had to get over Percy. Besides, Annabeth was right. Percy needs some sort of distraction and Nico could do that. Besides, that's all he would have ever been anyway. It's not like him and Percy could've happened anyways because Percy was straight and now he was back together with Annabeth, regardless of his reasons.

So it just didn't matter.

It couldn't matter.

He'd make it not matter.

* * *

Nico hurried into his class, settling himself in his chair quickly and sat with the other students waiting for their professor to show up.

He never did.

At least, he didn't show up to the first thirty minutes, so everyone just left. They weren't going to waste their time waiting, were they?

It's not like Nico cared. He had a doctor's note either way.

But now he didn't know what he wanted to do with the free time. He didn't necessarily want to go to the library because he wasn't sure when Percy would show up there and he just wasn't in the mood to stay in the university for this short break. Besides, he was tired and needed to wake up. He debated going to the café for a few seconds, briefly thinking he didn't want to go because Percy would be there, but Percy was here, so he decided on it.

He really needed coffee right now, especially after all that has happened today.

* * *

He arrived at the café about ten minutes later and strolled in, breathing in relief when he saw that, like he suspected, Percy was not here. Instead, the register was being manned by Luke. Luke smiled at Nico and already started on Nico's regular. Nico went over to table in the corner and sat down, knowing already that Luke would just bring his coffee. That was how Luke did everything. He would personally bring the coffee over and you would pay then, rather than at the register.

Since no one else was in the café, his coffee was made quickly.

"Here you go, Nico," Luke said, handing him the coffee. Nico took it, paid, and thanked him, without making any more conversation. He wasn't in the mood, especially for Luke's personality.

Nico stared down at his coffee and his pale hands that were wrapped around it. He could still faintly see the old cuts on his wrists. He wondered briefly how many people had noticed the scars and if they did, what they thought. He wondered if Luke had noticed when handing him his coffee. He wondered if Percy had noticed when they hung out. Then, he wondered if they cared. Did anyone actually give a damn?

The sound of the familiar ting of the bell is hat distracted his thoughts. Looking up, Nico saw a very attractive blonde-haired guy, who looked just a little older than him, walk in.

"Hey, Luke," the guy said, smiling at the other blonde. They guy's gaze traveled to Nico, who gelt weird for staring, so he immediately looked back down at his freakishly-pale hands and his coffee.

"Hey, Jason!" Luke responded, just as enthusiastically. "Want your regular, as well?" Nico peered from the corner of his eyes as the guy—Jason—nodded. Jason looked back at him, and Nico's gaze flickered down once more. What was with him?

Then suddenly, the chair across from him was being pulled out loudly, causing Nico's head to snap up.

Jason had just sat across from him. Nico frowned. Jason smiled.

It sort of reminded him of Percy's smile, but he still liked Percy's more. He didn't know why.

Well no, he knew why.

He just didn't want to keep admitting that.

"I'm Jason," Jason said. Nico nodded.

"I heard," he responded, just as Luke brought over Jason's coffee, repeating the familiar routine of what had happened earlier with Nico.

"So...no name, then?" Jason asked, cracking an even larger smile if that was possible. Nico felt his own lips tug up in a small sort of smile as well.

"Nico. Nico di Angelo," Nico said.

"Nico di Angelo?" Jason asked. "That sounds like the name of a movie star. Are you actually a movie star?"

"Yeah. I'm in this lowly coffee shop to hide from the paparazzi actually. Please don't make fun of my misfortunes," Nico said. He was surprised with himself. He doesn't usually do this. Jason laughed then.

"You're good, Nico di Angelo," he said, smiling.

"Hmm," was all Nico gave in response, as he took another sip of his cooled-down coffee. For some reason, it tasted much sweeter than usual.

They talked until Nico had to go back to college, and Jason simply said he'd see him around. Nico highly doubted that, but it's not like he wasn't open to the idea of seeing him again. He was pretty cool to talk to.

* * *

School went by quickly, and Nico was assigned a research paper and an essay that were due on days that were too close in his opinion.

_Teachers really shouldn't do that. Especially professors when we actually have lives,_ he thought to himself sourly as he walked out of his last class for the day. He knew it was sort of hypocritical since he didn't really do much except stalk Percy, but still.

"Hey Nico!" Nico stopped short in his tracks. Said boy was now calling his name now. Nico turned, plastering a smile on his face.

"Hey Percy!" he said, trying to sound just as enthusiastic as he did. He saw Annabeth in the distance by a few feet and she smiled at him. He returned it of course, not wanting to be rude and also not wanting to raise any suspicions. For fuck's sake, Percy didn't even know he was also attracted to men after all.

"Where were you today?" Percy asked, standing right in front of Nico and giving him a full-frontal smile that tugged at Nico's heart.

"Uh, I had a doctor's appointment," he said. Percy frowned.

"Really? For what?"

Nico's eyes widened. There was no way he could tell Percy why he was there, and there was no way, he could tell him that he saw Annabeth and Thalia there as well.

"Just felt sort of sick yesterday and this morning and decided to check up on it," Nico lied. He felt bad about it, but there was no way Percy could know anything. Because if he did, Percy'd want to help him, which would only guarantee Nico's fall for him to last too, too long.

"Oh. Is that why you left so quickly yesterday?" he asked, although something felt sort of off to Nico. Nico realized that this was a pretty good time to lie about that too.

"Yeah, something like that," he muttered. Percy frowned again, and Nico wondered why. His gaze shifted back to Annabeth and he remembered what she had said about Percy loving her. He wondered if it was true.

"Are you better now?" Percy asked, leaning against the wall, looking way too cool for anyone of his geekiness.

"Yeah," Nico answered, quickly so Percy wouldn't think he was lying to his face, like he was. Percy smiled that gorgeous smile of his again, and once again Nico cursed his luck with crushes to the gods, or God, whatever.

"Then that means you can go bowling with us today," Percy states, nodding his head like it's already official. _But seriously, bowling?_ Nico states his thoughts aloud. "Yup. And you're coming. I'll pick you up at...where do you live?"

No. There was no way Nico could tell him where he lived because that would be too much for Nico to handle.

"I'll just meet you at the café. It's easier for me, and it will be for you," Nico answered, not even bothering to put up a fight. Percy smiled even wider.

"Awesome," he said. "Well, I'll see you later on today, okay?"

"Yeah."

"Bye Nico!" Percy called out, already falling in step with Annabeth. Nico watched them, sadly.

He wondered if Percy knew how sad he actually looked when he smiled.

And yet he was still beautiful.

Nico knew he was so, so screwed.

Percy was just like the damn coffee he served- he was always a bit too sweet.

And that's why Nico was such a goner.

_Damnit._

* * *

**_*I'm so sorry about the late update. I have been soooo busy and time has just flown on by! Well, here's your update! I hope you liked it, and don't worry, this is a pernico story, no matter how many people might "interfere". ;)_**

**_Love you all. Thanks for reading. And reviews are much appreciated. _**

**_Bai guys. :)_**

**_-DiAnna44_**

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**


	6. part VI

**part VI**

* * *

Nico has forgotten how to bowl. He realizes this as soon as he grasps the bowling ball and looks down the lane, which only emphasizes his utter doom. Surrounding him are Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, Rachel, and another friend Nico just met today, Leo.

"Come on, Nico! Release it!" Rachel calls out helpfully. Nico grimaces and immediately wishes he didn't agree to doing this. Why is he doing this? He doesn't like people. Or bowling.

However, he still grasps the bowling ball as well as he can and takes a few steps forward and releases it. He watches as the ball immediately gets thrown into the side pit and rolls down pathetically, not hitting a single pin.

Nico finds that this could actually be a sad metaphor for his life.

"Don't worry, Nico! You have another try!" This time it's Annabeth who tries to comfort him. Nico knows another try won't do him any good because he doesn't remember how to do this properly and that's the sad truth.

He tries again.

This time, the ball isn't even in his lane, but instead he practically hurls it into the other lane. And even then, he didn't knock down any pins. The people next to him are laughing. Nico can feel how red he is and he turns around to go sit back down. Everyone offers him a smile and tells him that he did just fine, but Nico knows they are only saying that because it'd be too rude to tell him that he sucked at bowling.

It's Annabeth's turn and Nico finds himself seated next to the one and only, Percy Jackson.

"You don't actually know how to bowl, do you?" Percy asks, after a full four seconds of silence. This is one of those moments when Nico wished he wasn't such a pathetic loser who never went out.

"I _used_ to," he admits, smiling sheepishly. It's true. He did use to know how to play. But that was when his sister was still alive and when his dad wasn't a _complete_ ass.

So it's been a while. Percy grins at him.

"We'll have to come here sometimes, just the two of us, so I can teach you. Sound good?" Percy asks, not even knowing how that made Nico feel. Nico didn't reveal anything though.

"Sounds good," he agrees. His heart hurt. Percy smiled at him and looked over at Annabeth,a frown gracing his face. Nico wondered if it had anything to do with what he overheard from Annabeth in the hospital.

He remained silent.

When Annabeth finished, having scored a spare, it was Percy's turn. Annabeth gave him a small smile, but she seemed uncomfortable as well. It was all very weird. Not like it really helped Nico out in the end.

Percy was undeniably straight.

And that was that.

The next hour went by in a haze.

Thalia and Rachel had gotten into an intense arm wrestling battle in which Thalia won the first four, but Rachel won the last one.

Leo, as Nico had learned, was very loud and very upfront about too many things. He made Nico feel sort of uncomfortable but that was probably just because Nico wasn't like him. At all.

And Percy continued to be awkward around Annabeth, while Annabeth seemed sort of sad about it. He wasn't sure. He did know that they were making him feel weird as well.

Everyone had been friendly enough and Nico definitely didn't regret coming out with them. He did have some fun.

Now they were planning on going out to eat and Nico was debating what his next move should be.

"Are you coming, Nico?" Thalia asks him, directing all eyes on him. He knew that if he said no, then he wouldn't be the only one. Annabeth and Rachel both had to go home because they had to build some project for their architecture class, which only made Nico think about the homework he was neglecting at home. Eh. He had time.

"Sure," he says, not actually debating it in the end. He knew he was going to say yes anyways. Percy was going and Annabeth wasn't. Sort of a done deal, which he supposed was kind of sad.

Thalia smiles at him and Nico blushes, looking down. He doesn't get many smiles like that.

"Where are we going?" he asks. For some reason, this time Thalia blushes.

"Well actually, my brother recently started working at this really good Italian place and I haven't seen him in such a long time. I was thinking we could surprise him? He wants to meet my friends anyways so..." she trails off, as if she said something offending.

"Sounds cool," Percy says, nodding. "Wanna head off?"

Thalia nods, and Leo and Nico agree. Annabeth and Rachel were just watching on the side, and when Percy moves into to kiss Annabeth goodbye, Nico has to look away. He makes eye contact with Thalia, who's staring at him pointedly. This time, Nico's gaze travels over to Leo, who's kicking at a rock on the ground with a happy thrill in the air.

And then they are getting in Percy's car, and Nico wonders how he ended up here.

By "here" he means being the one in the passenger's seat while Thalia and Leo get into the back, talking about...a band he thinks?

Either way, here he was, next to Percy, who just shut the driver's door. Suddenly, Nico couldn't breathe and he had to stare out the window to regain his emotional state at the moment.

He hated liking Percy so so much. All it brought him was stress. Plus, he was straight and taken.

The worst combination.

Nico sighs loudly, and of course, Percy mentions it. Thalia and Leo are still talking about things Nico could never contribute to because he's an unsociable creep.

"Bored already, Nico?" Percy teases. Nico undoubtedly blushes and he decides right then and there that he was an idiot. He ignores his flaming face and sighs again, but this time it makes Percy laugh. He likes Percy's laugh. It's loud and sort of weird, but that was what made it so special. God, Nico really was gone for him, wasn't he?

Meanwhile, in the back of the car, Thalia and Leo had stopped talking, and Nico could feel Thalia's stare on him. Leo, however, had already whipped out his headphones and started to listen to some band that Nico probably didn't know about.

Personally, Nico felt as if the air stilled and everything became awkward, but Percy doesn't really seem to mind all that much. Or he just didn't notice, which Nico doubts.

"So what's your brother's name, Thal?" Percy asks, making a smooth right turn, which Nico found creepily attractive.

"_I told you not to call me that_," Thalia hisses. Percy just laughs. "His name is Jason...and he's not like my actual brother- well he is, but he's a half-brother, not my full brother."

"I knew a guy named Jason once. He moved to Alabama or something," Percy comments.

"Most riveting, Percy. Truly. Don't know how I would've managed without that," Thalia says dryly.

"Wasn't it?" Percy smiles.

_Jason_, Nico recalled the other Jason from before and couldn't help but smile.

"See? Nico's smiling. He thinks I'm funny," Percy says, reaching over and ruffling his hair.

_This is not fair_, Nico thought as Percy then moved onto to pinch Nico's cheeks. Nico turned his head, embarrassed to the full extreme. He could not handle this. Nico managed to scoot away from Percy and Percy dropped his hand, not noticing anything strange apparently.

Good. That is good. Percy can't catch on. Then, it'd just be weird.

The rest of the car ride was all right, Nico supposed. He laughed a few times but most of the time he just stared at the window trying not to focus on the feel of Percy's hand through his hair.

It was terribly unpleasant.

Finally, they arrive and Nico breathes out a sigh of relief since now he won't be so enclosed in a space with Percy Jackson. Percy parked flawlessly and all four of them scrambled out.

"I'm starving," Leo moaned as he trudged his way forward. Thalia smirked and Percy laughed. Nico felt out of place all of a sudden and he was reminded of dinners out with his family. Sometimes they were fun, but after Bianca, there wasn't a point. Nico shook his head, seemingly trying to shake out all of those dark thoughts away for now. Not now. He shouldn't focus on such depressing things.

Percy's smile clears away all of those thoughts in a heartbeat.

The restaurant is small and it's one of those where you can pick where you sit rather than being led to a booth by a host or hostess.

They choose a booth off to the right side and Percy and Thalia get in together. Nico waits for Leo to scoot in and when he does, he finds himself staring right in front of Percy, and if they were alone right now, then it's a situation that could be considered a date.

But it's not.

Because first of all, there friends are here.

Also, Percy's straight and taken. So yeah that too.

Nico simply sighs.

"Hey, Nico di Angelo, right?" Nico turns to the source of the voice and finds himself looking up at Jason, who's smiling down at him. Thalia clears her throat.

"Why does everyone suddenly know Nico? And how do _you_ know him, Jason? And I come to see you for one of the first times in forever, and you don't even say hi?!" she exclaims, appearing pissed off, but Nico can tell she's teasing him. He knows what that's like well enough. Jason cracks an even wider smile if that was even possible.

"Oh hey didn't see you there, my _loving, most wonderful big sister_," Jason teases right back, and Thalia just grunts.

"So you're Jason, huh?" Leo asks.

"Yeah, you?"

"Leo Valdez, also known as one of the best people you'll ever get the pleasure to meet thank you very much," Leo answers sincerely. Jason just nods.

"I'm Percy, but actually I'm curious…how _do_ you know Nico?" Percy asks, returning his smile.

Jason just continues to grin. "Actually, I only met him this morning." Nico freezes. Oh no. That's not exactly what he told Percy. "We had coffee together and chatted a bit. He's funny, you know?"

Percy frowns and turns to look at Nico curiously who's now biting down on his tongue in terror. Will he ask him why he lied to him today? Nico hopes with all of his heart that he doesn't.

He doesn't.

But something is off.

Jason takes their orders, which takes a while since Thalia can't stop changing her order last minute just to screw with him, but when Nico sneaks a peek at Percy, he's still quiet.

The dinner actually goes by pretty quickly, but not because they're eating fast. Mainly, it's because it seemed that Nico was so focused on Percy that he didn't even realize that they've been there for almost an hour. As their parting, Jason calls out to them, well him at least.

"Hey Nico!"

Nico stops and turns to look around. He sees Percy stop for a second but then he continues to walk on to his car, their friends following him.

"Yeah?" Nico asks, hearing Percy start the car.

"You're pretty weird…okay well anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to exchange numbers? I'm having a party at my place soon and it'd be pretty cool if you showed up. You can invite Percy and Leo, but I figured it'd be less awkward if I told you because I sort of met you before already. Also, I didn't want to tell Thalia because then she'd kill me so…" he trails off laughing awkwardly. Nico nods and agrees.

"Yeah. Cool." They type their numbers into each other's phones quickly and suddenly that's done and Nico's back in the car with Percy.

The only sounds on the way back are each person's breaths and the music that softly reverberates throughout the car. It's awkward and tense and Nico has no clue as to why. Although, maybe that's just because Leo fell asleep on Thalia's lap and Thalia had tried three times already to remove him without succeeding. Nico didn't really know.

They drop off Leo first, who stumbles back inside as if he's dead, even though all they did was eat dinner and bowl all night. Nico thinks he's sort of strange.

Thalia's the next to closest and when she's dropped off with a wave, the awkwardness that resided in the car is worse than ever.

They drive in complete silence this time and Nico keeps trying to figure out what went wrong.

"Hey Nico?" Percy asks, suddenly. Nico freezes.

"Uh yeah?"

"We are pretty good friends, right? Like I've told you about my mom and stuff so you'd tell me about the stuff going on in your life, right?" Nico knows what he's talking about, but that's too much for him right now.

"Yeah? I mean…yeah," Nico finishes lamely and he silently wishes someone would come shoot him right about now. He's an idiot.

Percy pulls into a drive thru and Nico can't mistake the giant Starbucks sign looming above them.

"Why are we here?" Nico asks, not unkindly. Percy shrugs and smiles.

"Don't really know. I just thought that after clarifying that in such an awkward way that coffee was sort of our constant in our friendship. I mean, that's how we met too," Percy explains. As if Nico forgot.

"Oh…that's cool." Nico desperately hopes he doesn't sound too awkward but whatever, he figures he always sounds awkward and doesn't really see the crime in the end. Percy smiles again. Nico loves it.

Percy orders for the both of them, watering down the version that Nico normally gets at the cafe, and after paying, Nico's got coffee in his hands. It's warm, and he brings it up to his lips and tastes it.

He knows, technically, it's much better tasting than Percy's, but he only finds Percy's coffee endearing now, so to him, it's plainer. He doesn't tell Percy this of course.

They drive back in comfortable silence this time, making small talk every so often, and Nico wishes he actually had the right to lean over and kiss him when Percy stops at the cafe. Nico's still not comfortable with Percy knowing where he lives. He doesn't want anyone to know.

"See you tomorrow, Nico di Angelo," Percy smiles at him.

"See you tomorrow, Percy Jackson," Nico says back, before hastily getting out of the car and into his own home.

Percy's smile was still etched into his mind as he dropped the empty coffee cup into the trashcan.

* * *

_***Hiiiiii sorry it's shorter than the last one. :/ some writer's block in this chapter but I hope you enjoyed it! reviews are seriously much appreciated  and love you all :)**_

_**Bai guys**_

_**-DiAnna44 :)**_

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**


	7. part VII

**part VII**

* * *

Nico had stayed up all night finishing his stupid essay. His mind was so dead at the moment that he couldn't even remember what it was about. Maybe it was about the Opium War? Maybe it was about how utterly evil his professor was for assigning an essay. He didn't actually know but either way, the wretched thing was _done._

He glanced in the mirror, noticing how the dark lines under his eyes have only blackened more.

_I look like walking death_, he thinks shrewdly before patting his hair down a bit. His hair seemed to be even darker today and yeah, he looked very much like a sad, emotional boy who didn't know what he was going to do with his life.

Oh wait.

Nico sighed again and grabbed his overstuffed and unorganized bag and supposed that going off to class now would be for the better.

_I better make a spectacular grade on this essay_, he thought as he rubbed his eyes and locked his apartment.

* * *

Nico sat at his usual table in the library totally _not_ cleaning up the table a bit because of Percy's soon to be arrival. It didn't really matter anyway because first of all, Percy, from what he has gathered stalking him and talking to him, is not all that neat. As Nico swiped off the bit of crumbs (_and really, why are there crumbs here?) _he caught sights of his wrists again. It's not like he doesn't see them or something, but when he does, he doesn't focus on the faint scars.

Nico pursed his lips, tracing the thumb of his other hand over the scar.

"Hey, Nico," Percy says, sliding into the chair across from Nico. Nico instantly looks away and drops his hand before meeting Percy's gaze. Percy frowns at him, a smile frozen on his face and Nico sees his eyes flicker down to Nico's wrist, which Nico is trying to hide under the table. Percy stares for approximately two seconds before looking back up at Nico and smiling even wider. Nico just lets out an internal relieved sigh before smiling back.

"Hi, Percy," he says.

"How are you?" Percy asks politely. Nico smiles.

"Good. Stayed up all night though," he wistfully answers. Nico is such a poet.

"Really? Why?"

"Had an essay due," is what Nico replies. Percy nods and his eyes flicker back down to Nico's wrist. _Oh no._ Thankfully, Percy remains quiet, which is fine at first until the silence between them becomes a little awkward. Nico clears his throat. Distraction. He needs a distraction. "So, are you going to the party?"

Percy frowns.

Wait.

Nico has not told him about Jason's party yet. Oops. Well, he'll tell him now, won't he?

"What party?" Percy asks, on cue and Nico rubs his hand in response.

"Oh. Guess I forgot to tell you. Jason has invited you and Leo to his upcoming party. Don't tell Thalia though because apparently she'll kill him if she finds out," he trails off. "Oh, and he said he'd text me when it is so if you wanna go then just…text me?"

That was the moment that he realized that he did not have Percy Jackson's phone number. Percy also seemed to realize this.

"Oh. Sounds cool, I guess, but I think I'd need my number for you to text me though, right?" he asks.

"Uh yeah," Nico eloquently replies. Percy just grins at him and pulls out his phone.

"Here. I'll put it in right now," he says. Nico's eyes widen and he has to blink a few times. Right. Number.

After telling Percy his number, Percy says he'll text him later so Nico will have his as well. Nico accepts that information with a small smile and a nod. He really needs to learn how to deal with liking Percy better. Or is it love? No...he'll deal with that particular issue later.

"So...how did you meet Jason?" Percy asks, cutting into his thoughts. Nico blinks at him in surprise.

"Uh...wait, didn't he say already?" Nico remembers Jason saying where they met. At least, Nico thought so. It's why he was so freaked out when Percy realized that he was indeed not at the hospital all day. Right?

"Oh. He did? I don't remember," Percy responds, a small frown on his face. Nico's a little confused.

"We met in your café actually. He just came in and I don't know, we just talked. He's a pretty cool guy, I guess. Do you think so?" Nico asks. He could definitely see Percy and Jason being friends, but he could also see why they wouldn't be. They'd probably clash over stupid things like where to hang out or what pizza they should order.

"He's cool, I suppose. I don't really know him well enough," Percy shrugs in response. Something's off. Nico doesn't know what, but he doesn't question any further. He has secrets from Percy so it only makes sense if Percy has secrets from him as well.

"Yeah. That makes sense," Nico simply says. What else is he supposed to say?

An awkward lull in their conversation follows and doesn't pick up pace again. Nico shifts, but right before he can open his mouth to say something else, Percy's standing up and saying something about how it's time for the next class.

Already? Seriously? Nico looks at the time and realizes that _oh, it_ is.

"Oh. Well, see you later, Percy?" he asks. Percy nods.

"Yeah, see you, Nico. I'll text you, okay?"

Nico can only manage a nod before Percy's rushing out. Strange. It's not like he's usually that on time with other classes.

Nico packs up his things leisurely. All his dad's money after all.

* * *

"You're Nico, right?"

Nico looks up and meets the gaze of a tough looking girl who looks like she woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

"Yes?" Nico asks and answers. Why is she talking to him? _Please go away_.

"I'm supposed to give you this," she says, stuffing a piece of paper in his face. Nico's startled and a little confused.

"Okay?"

"Bye," is all she says before strutting off. Nico blinks. What even?

He glances down at the paper and freezes.

_**Secrets are for liars. **_

That's all it says. Nico looks up to see if he can call back the scary girl, but she's already gone. He looks back down at the paper and frowns. What is this? Nico thought the fact that someone took the time to write this and send it via some messenger was quite funny, even though it was kind of creepy. Secrets?

Nico had a lot of secrets, but no one else here knows about that. That's why they are called secrets.

Nico reads over the note again before scrunching it up into a wad of paper. He doesn't need this. This is stupid. He can't handle dealing with some stupid cryptic message that someone sends via a scary messenger girl.

And then Nico feels his phone buzz in his pocket and smiles softly at the conveniently timed text message. That's a good distraction, he supposes.

He feels his stomach turn over when he sees it's Percy. Of course it is. Who else texts him?

**to: nico**

**from: unknown number**

**received 2:46 pm**

**hiii nico! this is percy!**

**how are yuo since i've lsat seen you?**

Nico saved Percy's number in his phone and frowned over the misspelled words before remembering that Percy was dyslexic. Oh right.

**to: percy jackson!**

**from: nico**

**sent 2:48 pm**

**hello percy. this is nico. okay you already knew that. **

**i'm good thanks.**

Why is Nico so awkward? Nico sighs. He's a failure. He waits a few minutes but Percy doesn't respond so Nico figures that he really is a failure. Maybe he should have asked how Percy was as well? He sighs. Like he knows.

Whatever. It's fine. He's headed home anyway. He has too much work to do rather than focus on some straight boy who doesn't like you back.

Yeah. Too much work.

* * *

When Nico gets home the first thing he thinks to himself is how freezing it is. Why why why is it always so cold in this damn apartment? He walks over the heater and turns it all the way up. Not like it's actually going to warm up the much. He's learned a while back that the stupid thing is broken.

He shivers sightly, pulling on his black jacket as if it'll help him warm up (it doesn't).

As always, Nico learned very few things today, and yet he still walked out with an inordinate amount of projects due all too soon.

What is he usually doing at this time of day that he's not doing now that's making him so freaking tired? Nico yawns, thinking for a brief second before remembering _oh yeah, coffee._

After turning the coffee machine on and doing all of the necessary preparations to make his coffee, he sits down at his small dining table and opens up his textbook.

And stares at it. Ugh. Why is doing this college thing again? Hell, what is even going to do after college?

Nico has absolutely no idea.

He chews on his nails for a second, glaring at the offending projects laid out in front of him before looking up when he hears the coffee machine beep. Why does his even beep? He's pretty sure others don't do that.

He makes himself some crappy cup of coffee with too much sugar in and too little milk and is about to sit back down until he notices the number "1" is flashing back at him from his home phone. Who called him? He never gets calls, not even on his cell phone. Why did someone call his home phone?

The only person he can even think of who has this number is—oh.

Nico closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He could ignore it. He can always ignore it and pretend that he never saw it. Who even has a home phone these days anyway? He can say that he doesn't check it. He could do all of this so why is he taking the three steps forward to press play.

Maybe he's a masochist. Obviously. If he's setting himself up to listen to this. He wonders why he's calling though. He never calls to just "chat". He only calls to yell at him so why is he calling now?

What has he done that gets him to yell at him? Nico lets out a breath he wasn't even aware he was holding and…it's ridiculous, isn't it? He's here _alone._ It's not like he's actually _here. _It's just a phone call! Why why why is he freaking out so much? Why can't he _stop freaking out?_

He sighs and presses play before he can talk himself out of it.

There's a long breath before his father actually starts speaking but it fills Nico's body with a scared anticipation and _why is he listening to this?_

"I suppose you're at school right now. I wonder if you're going to pretend like you didn't fucking listen to this, you ungrateful boy. Don't even try. I know you're listening to this and I know you'll think about pretending that you never heard this, but guess what? I know you did, but do you want to know why I'm calling you? You want to know?! You know who I just had the _extraordinary pleasure_ of talking to? You know who, you little fuck?! _The fucking hospital, Di Angelo! _You know what they told me?! _They told me they found you passed out on the street! _I thought we were fucking down with this shit, Di Angelo. You want to be an embarrassment? Is that what you're trying to do? Guess what? _You already are! _Stop passing out on streets because you're _"sad". Stop. It._ If I get another fucking phone call to tell me how much of an embarrassment you are one more time, I will come up there to your little college that _I'm_ paying for by the way and whoop your ass. Understand, Di Angelo? Does your little brain understand that? Or are you just too "sad" to understand? Huh? Fuck. Goodbye. Don't call me back, but don't give _me_ a reason to call you back_. Got it?"_

And then the phone line is a long tone and Nico's heart is hammering so loudly in his chest, he feels like he can't breathe. _Di Angelo Di Angelo Di Angelo. _His own father can't even call him by his first name out of shame. Nico hates him.

He hates everything about him.

Yet, he's still affected. Why is he still affected? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. _It doesn't matter. _

He's heard it all before—multiple times even, so it _shouldn't matter. _

Nico feels the tears pricking at his eyes and he angrily wipes them away. He's done with crying. _Utterly done with it. _He glances down at his hands and notices the red burn forming on his hands.

He was clutching onto the coffee cup too tightly, it seems. Maybe he's holding onto everything too tightly. He's about to take another sip before suddenly, his phone goes off. This time it's his cellphone.

Oh fuck, it's not his father, is it? It can't be, right? He doesn't have access to this number…he never gave it to him. Fuck no no no no. He pulls out with shaky hands and brings it out to inspect.

Percy's name flashes at him. Nico blinks. Wh—why is Percy calling him?

_Why does he always call at the wrong times?_ Or anything? Why is Percy always here once more to distract him from something seemingly terrible?

He can't let his emotions start depending on Percy Jackson. Nico sighs heavily before accepting the call and bringing his phone up to his ear.

"Hello?" he asks. He hopes his voice sounds normal rather than on guard like how he is.

"Hey, Nico? So, it seems I'll probably be missing Jason's party," he says, laughter filling his voice. Nico wonders what made him so happy. He wishes something could make him that happy (how depressing).

"Oh. Okay. Why?" It's morbid curiosity is what it is. That's all.

"Well, I'm going out of town to stay with one of my mom's old friends. Mom's condition seems to be getting worse so I took a vacation from the café to go and see him." Nico lets himself let out a small laugh. Why is he laughing? Why is he doing anything? Damnit.

"Oh, well. Have fun?" he says. "Shame that you'll miss the party though. I probably won't even go." That's also true. He probably won't go. He would've only gone if Percy had gone and that was questionable at first. Now, it was certain. Percy also laughs.

"Nah, you should go. You'll have fun. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have even gone if not for you, but that's why I'm calling you. I feel bad so," Percy explains with such an ease that it must not mean much, but it still makes Nico's stomach do summersaults.

"Well, we'll see, right?"

"No, _you'll see_," Percy jokes. Nico rolls his eyes. Idiot.

"Okay whatever. You're keeping me from my studies, Jackson," is what he says, glaring once again at his textbooks. Percy laughs, obviously thrilled.

"But I thought emo freaks like you don't study?" Percy jokingly mocks. Nico wouldn't care even if Percy had meant it, but since he knows he's just kidding, he can feel himself relax.

"Yeah, well, I'm an exception, I guess."

Percy's silent for a moment before sighing out in agreement, "Yup. I guess you are."

Nico nods even though Percy can't see him.

"I really do have to go," he says. _Before I completely break apart. _He doesn't say that bit out loud though. Percy laughs again.

"Alright alright. See you later, Nico di Angelo," he says. Nico smiles, despite his bad humour.

"See you later, Percy Jackson," he replies.

"Did you know my real first name is actually Perseus?" Percy suddenly says, already getting completely off track. Nico rolls his eyes.

"Wow. You're such a freak. How do you live with yourself with that horror of a name?" he teases. Teasing. Who would have thought Nico would come down to teasing?

"Well, we can't all have cool names like you, Nico di Angelo," Percy replies. "Oh. Sorry for holding you up. I suppose you do actually have a life, right? Alright. Talk to you later, Nico!"

"Bye, Percy," Nico says, before hearing the dial tone.

Dial tone dial tone dial tone.

He thinks back on his father's voicemail and shuts his eyes. _Don't think about it. Don't think about it._

Instead, he takes another tentative sip from his cup of coffee, trying to relive the conversation he just had with him. It's lame, but it's working.

His control over his own emotions be damned.

Nico frowns. He's dug himself into a hole with Percy and even though it seems that Percy has several ladders at hand, Nico doesn't have any way out.

Not one.

* * *

**_*Oh my god well this has been a chapter long overdue, huh? I am sooo sorry. I've just had absolutely no inspiration for any of my stories as of late that weren't regarding the stupid ship that is larry freaking stylinson. My apologies. :/_**

**_Plus, this chapter was a lull in the grand scheme of things and it was incrediblyyyyy hard for me to write as well. Agh. Oops?_**

**_Anyway, hopefully, you enjoyed. _**

**_Hopefully, you'll leave a review as well?_**

**_Thank you for sticking with this loser of an updater ahahaha. :/_**

**_Baiii guys. _**

**_-DiAnna44 :)_**

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**


	8. part VIII

**part VIII**

* * *

Nico ends up not going to the party and he supposes he should feel bad, but he doesn't.

Leo went though and apparently met some girl named Hazel that he can't seem to stop talking about and Nico honestly has no idea how he knows that considering he's barely spoken to Leo since that one night. Maybe, it was simply because of the name Hazel which only reminds him of his half-sister he never talks to.

Nico sighs and lies back down on his bed. He doesn't know what he really wants to do. Percy is still out of town and it's not like he has much friends. Except for Leo, it seems, which is strange, because like he said, it's not like they've spoken.

Nico doesn't even know.

Sighing again, he sits back up. He supposes he could get through some of the homework assigned to him by his dreadful professors that he might've actually liked if not for their need to give out work. He looks over at the growing stack on his desk and shakes his head and lies back down again.

His apartment ceiling is in desperate need for paint job. He doesn't want to do it.

Damn. Nico's bored. He needs to do something. What did he even do before he got here? Ah yes. He hung out with Bianca and all of her weird friends. He swears half of them had been lesbians. Not that that's a bad thing considering him.

That's not how their father used to view it though. Can Nico still consider his father as "theirs" when Bianca was dead? Does his father become his own or both of theirs still? Nico doesn't know and sits abruptly back to avoid these dangerously stupid thoughts.

He sighs. Damn. He is incredibly bored.

Standing up, he stretches and rubs his neck. He heads to the kitchen, looks around once, twice, and then three times before he finally just grabs his jacket and leaves the apartment.

* * *

He goes to the café anyway and sits at his usual table. No one is at the register, but he figures it's probably Luke who's working today. So, he doesn't particularly care if he stays behind the register or not.

Although maybe he should considering the fact he came here for coffee.

The bell of the door opening breaks his attention and he glances at the door.

It's Jason.

"Hey! Nico!" Jason calls out loudly, immediately heading toward Nico. Nico smiles at him, and Jason sits down across from him.

"Hi, Jason," Nico says. It's also at this time that Luke comes out.

"Jason! How have you been, kid? Was starting to worry about you," Luke laughs. He walks over to them and pats Jason on the shoulder before turning his gaze to Nico. "And Nico! Want the usual?"

"Sure," he mumbles.

Luke stares at him for a few seconds before sighing and looking back at Jason. "And you, Your Grace? Regular as well?" Nico's confused at the royal phrasing.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Just get me the vanilla bean macchiato. I'm feeling very vanilla today."

Luke laughs. "Whatever, Your Grace."

Yeah. Nico doesn't get what's happening with the whole "Grace" thing.

Once Luke starts walking away, skip in his step and orders in his head, Nico asks him.

"So, what's with the whole 'Grace' thing?"

Jason raises an eyebrow. Nico feels like he should be getting something here.

"Uhm. My last name? Grace? As well as Thalia's? Remember how we're like related?"

Nico feels like an idiot.

"Oh," he says, embarrassed of his entire existence. Jason just laughs though.

"So, what are you doing here all alone, Nico di Angelo?"

"Don't know," Nico honestly replies. "I'm just here."

Jason frowns, but doesn't say anything. Nico is starting to find his hands incredibly interesting. Nico manages to look back up at the blonde-haired boy. Jason looks as if he's about to say something, but then Luke is already there, sliding the coffees onto the table. Nico has to wonder how in the hell did he make them so fast? They both pay, a questionable silence hanging between them as Luke smiles widely when he grabs the money.

"So, where's Percy?" Jason asks as soon as Luke is back behind the register.

"He's visiting a friend of his mom's or something like that," he says, blowing at his coffee.

"Oh," Jason replies, opting to stir his around. "You didn't come to the party."

It's not accusatory, but Nico still grimaces. Oh yeah. He'd forgotten that it was Jason's party in the first place.

"Sorry. I didn't feel too well that day," Nico says. It's not exactly a lie since he really didn't feel well, but it wasn't like he had been sick or something. Just sad.

"No, it's alright. Really. I was just looking forward to hanging with you. I always love new friends," Jason smiles, taking another sip of his coffee. Nico studies him for a few seconds, wondering if he's just saying that so Nico won't feel bad, but he looks too honest to be lying.

"I don't have many friends," Nico says in response, feeling a little awkward about it. He wishes Percy was here.

"Sure you do, Nico! You have Percy, Thalia, Annabeth, Leo, Luke, Rachel, and me! That's more than enough! Seriously. You're fine," Jason assures him, smiling to the fullest. Nico doesn't think he's seen anyone happier.

Nico nods, feeling slightly happier about himself and he grips his coffee cup harder. It's still quite hot.

"Thanks, Jason," he finally mumbles into the cup, refusing by all standards to absolutely not meet his gaze.

"Anytime, Nico," replies Jason, still smiling.

Nico takes another sip.

It tastes great.

* * *

Nico went home feeling elated and a little sad to see his weekend come to an end. Jason told him about another party he was thinking about having for one of his friend's birthday and pre-invited Nico. Nico accepted with a small nod and the breath of an "okay, yeah, sure".

After he got home and turned the heater up like always, he settled onto his couch and pulled out his phone. He forgot to unmute it and was surprised to see that he had four text messages.

Nico doesn't think he's ever had four text messages.

Okay, yeah. Bianca. But that was only when she'd text him to do something she didn't want to do because she was being lazy.

Damn. Nico misses her.

When Nico sees Percy as one of the people who sent him a text, he freezes. He sent him two. Percy sent him two text messages while he was out. Did something bad happen to him? Is that why he texted him? Oh damn. He missed the messages that could've saved Percy's life.

Nico needs to calm down.

**to: nico**

**from: percy jackson!**

**received 4:56 pm**

**hey nico! so i just had coffee and i had to wonder if luke's coffee was any macth for mine! it's not ****rihgt? haha**

Nico refuses to be endeared.

**to: nico**

**from: percy jackson!**

**received 6:24 pm**

**oh dog it is, isn't it**

Nico thought about it. Luke's coffee was pretty well-made, and there was always something wrong with Percy's cups, but he was definitely still rooting for Percy.

Not because he was biased or anything.

**to: percy jackson!**

**from: nico**

**sent 7:52 pm**

**maybe**

Nico smiles down at his phone and decides to see about the other two messages. One of them is from Jason. He smiles when he remembers how Jason made him change his name to "Your Grace" in his contacts. Nico swore he'd change it to something awful when he got home, but he thinks the name is sort of growing on him.

Friendship be damned.

**to: nico**

**from: Your Grace**

**received 7:25**

**you're a really rad friend, di angelo :)**

Nico agrees that Jason's a good friend as well. He sends back a quick "you too" and goes onto the next text. Damnit. His wrists are starting to itch again all of a sudden.

**to: nico**

**from: unknown number**

**received 6:00 pm**

**secrets are for liars**

Nico frowns down at the message, remembering the same message he got a few days ago. Who was doing this to him?

**to: unknown number**

**from: nico**

**sent 7:56 pm**

**who is this?**

It's not like he expected a response right away, but he kind of wishes he got one. He wants to know who the hell keeps saying that to him. Plus, how did they get his number? It's not as if he goes around willingly giving it out. Also, secrets aren't for liars. Secrets are for him and his own sanity.

He can't go around talking about his dead sister.

He can't just bring up his old suicidal tendencies in the middle of a conversation.

He can't talk about his fucking father to people who don't really care.

So, why does this creep keep calling him a liar?

He's not a liar.

He misses Bianca so much.

Nico decides to do homework.

He ends up falling asleep while writing his name repeatedly on his assignment.

* * *

Nico wakes up too early for his liking. The sun isn't even shining yet, but the tip of it is starting to peek out from the horizons. Nico groans and shifts his head on the table. His back hurts and he has a pencil pressed up against his cheek.

Damnit. He has classes today.

Yawning, he sits up and organizes his stuff together and then checks his phone. Both Percy and Jason have responded. The unknown creep has not.

He groans and glances at the time.

It's nearly six in the morning. His first class is at nine today.

Why is he awake?

Standing up, he makes his way to his bedroom and collapses on his bed. It's uncomfortable and as Nico's face is pressed hard into the pillow, he notices that he needs to turn the heater up again as he's starting to shiver.

Damn this apartment's air conditioner. It's as if he's living in Antarctica or something. It's not as if he's not miserable enough already.

Nico closes his eyes and sleeps for the next two hours.

* * *

Nico doesn't say a single word while at school. It's as if he's not even there. All he can think about is Bianca. All he can focus on is the dull pain in his wrists and the need, the urge, the itch to do something about it. All he seems to be is absolutely nothing at all.

Nico wants to go home.

He still hasn't responded to the texts Percy and Jason sent him, but it doesn't matter to him right now.

He wants to go home.

His professor keeps staring at him from where he's seated and he supposes it's because he's not taking this practice test. He's just staring straight ahead into something undoubtedly more interesting than him. It's not even a real test. It's a practice test. What teacher assigns practice tests in college?

Nico wants to go home.

When class is dismissed, he's the first out, handing his guesswork to the professor quickly and assuredly awkwardly. He moves to his next class quickly. Oh wait. He doesn't have class. But he has class in two hours.

Nico doesn't want to talk to anybody at all.

He goes into the library.

He grabs a book.

He sits down and opens it.

For two hours, his wrist itches and he memorizes the same four paragraphs.

He wants to go home.

* * *

When Nico gets home, he drowns himself in his homework.

He doesn't respond to the texts.

He misses Bianca.

* * *

The next morning classes go by quickly and Nico's back at home again. He supposes he should visit the hospital to see that Dr. Jasons guy, but he doesn't really want to. Besides, they haven't called him in or anything. It's not a big deal. He's not going to make it a big deal.

His phone buzzes, but he ignores it, opting to rub his fingers over his wrists. He wishes the scars weren't still there.

His phone buzzes again. He ignores it.

The phone doesn't seem to care and keeps buzzing and it's when Nico finally sighs and flips it over to see who's texting him that he sees that it's actually someone calling him.

That someone is Percy Jackson.

"Hello?" he answers before it could buzz anymore.

"Hey, Nico?" Something is wrong. Percy doesn't sound well.

"Yeah, hey, Percy. Hey. Uhmm…yeah?"

"So, would it be okay if I crashed at your place today? I mean…if you have room or would be willing to obviously," he says. Nico freezes because…what?

"Wait, aren't you out of town?" is the first thing that comes out of Nico's mouth. Everybody hates him. Including the universe.

"Well, let's just say I'm coming back three days early. Sorry. I lost the key to my apartment and my roommate isn't in so I can't get in…." Percy says, and Nico hasn't heard such an obvious lie in such a long time. Logically, there are many things that could be done. Such as going to ask the landlord to let him in.

Nico doesn't call him out on it. "Uh. Yeah. Sure. I don't have a roommate so it's fine. There's not a bed in the other room though…so the only place you'd be able to sleep would be on the couch. Is that okay?"

Percy lets out a sigh of relief (at least that's what it sounds like to Nico). "That's great! Thanks so much by the way! Can you just text me your address?"

Percy doesn't sound happy at all. Nico says, "Yeah. See you soon."

* * *

Percy arrives around eleven o'clock at night and when Nico opens the door, he looks absolutely dreadful. Still cute though. Damn Nico's crush. His green eyes seem to be piercing into Nico's very soul. Whatever that means.

Percy lets out a tired smile when he sees Nico. "Hey. Seriously. Thanks for letting me stay here, Nico."

"No problem," Nico says, stepping aside to let Percy in. "So, how was the visit?" Nico is trying to make small talk. He is dreadful at small talk. Why was he born? Shit.

Percy's smile immediately drops. Oh crap. This is why Nico doesn't make small talk.

"She wrote a will already," is what Percy finally says before dropping onto the couch. Nico stops in his tracks.

"Your mother?" he asks.

"Yeah," he replies. "When I was visiting, he told me he was going to show me the will. He even got it out and everything. Fuck. It was already stamped too! It's an actual, legitimate will, and then…I left."

Nico knows why he's here now.

"And you called me," Nico says, filling in the rest of the unplanned story.

Percy nods. "Yeah. Sorry. It's just…I don't really want to deal with Annabeth right now. Or the others. They just don't understand."

"And I do?" Nico asks. It's not like he doesn't. He does. He just wants to know why Percy seems to think so as well.

"I think so," is Percy's reply. It's a good answer. It's honest. Percy looks tired. Nico probably looks tired as well.

Nico nods and makes his way to the kitchen, deciding it's probably best for the both of them if he doesn't respond. He doesn't want to think about Bianca and his father right now. He's been doing that for the past two days. And Percy's mother might die. This isn't something he has to be here for as a guy who has a crush, but as a friend. That's what Bianca would say.

"You want coffee?" he calls from the kitchen, and he hears Percy give a weak laugh in response.

"Is that supposed to be a joke, di Angelo?"

"It could be!" he replies, already making it. He gives a tight smile down into the coffee. Percy makes him happier.

He doesn't know if he's supposed to hold onto that or let go.

He doesn't think he really wants to decide right now.

While the coffee is brewing, he goes to sit next to Percy on the couch.

Percy's asleep.

Nico gives another tight-lipped smile as he watches Percy shift into a better position. Well, there goes that whole coffee thing.

After turning off the coffee pot and the lights, he heads to his room after a quiet "Goodnight, Percy Jackson".

His room is freezing of course and he changes into something more comfortable before settling into bed.

He's about to turn off his light when his phone buzzes. He frowns and reaches to pick it up.

**to: nico**

**from: unknown number**

**received: 12:00 pm**

**bianca**

Nico drops the phone.

* * *

_***Whew. That was incredibly hard to write. So, I had to update this before Friday because I'm heading over to Mexico on Friday and well, yeah. I'll be there for two weeks. Crie.**_

**_s/o to one of my best friends frida for giving me the idea, which helped me write in this faster. _**

**_also thanks for all the sweet reviews! I really do appreciate them and they really do help me write faster!_**

**_Anyway, I love all of you and stay awesome! :)_**

**_Bai guys. :)_**

**_-DiAnna44_**

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**


	9. part IX

**part IX  
**

* * *

When Nico wakes up, his head is pounding and he doesn't know why. It takes him a moment to take in the smell of bacon and the light that's streaming through his window. He groans and sits up, noticing his phone on the floor. Damnit. He forgot to charge it.

As he bent down to pick it up, he freezes, remembering why it was on the ground in the first place.

That unknown number person who texted him his sister's name last night. Who is it? Why in the hell are they harassing him so much? Plus, what does "secrets are for liars" even mean in the grand scheme of things?

Nico needs to just stop and forget about it. He can just ignore it. If he ignores it, then it'll go away. That mantra worked for most of his childhood and he's still here. Hopefully, it'll work once again and the person will just stop harassing him with things he would rather not be brought up.

He yawns and stands up, remembering that he's smelling bacon. Oh shit. Percy's here. Wait, so is Percy making bacon? Did he even have bacon to make? Where did Percy get the bacon? What's going on?

After getting ready, he walks out and sees Percy grumbling to himself as he prods at bacon on the stove. Nico has to hold back a laugh. The bacon looks absolutely burned to crisp. Geesh. Does this boy have any good cooking skills?

When Percy accidentally flips one of the bacon onto the floor and hurriedly picks it up before putting it back in the pan, Nico lets out a loud laugh. Percy stills and turns around to face him, a horrified expression on his face. Nico's too busy laughing to really care about his crush's embarrassment. When was the last time that Nico has laughed so much anyway?

"Please tell me you didn't just see that," Percy says quickly.

"I didn't just see that," Nico says, smirking a tiny bit, breaking his composure. Percy groans and quickly tosses the bacon into the trash.

"I'm not a good cook," is what he finally settles with.

Nico hasn't felt this happy in a long time. Percy seems to be as easy to talk with as Bianca was. It's nice.

"I figured that out when you dropped the burnt bacon," Nico says, surprising himself. Nico di Angelo is on fire today. And did he seriously just think that?

Percy pouts and settles for just turning off the stove. The bacon continues to sizzle and Nico scrunches up his nose when he starts to smell the charred part of the bacon. Now his kitchen smells like unmade coffee and charred bacon. Great.

Percy looks absolutely miserable. He glances at the bacon and then at Nico before repeating the same process once more.

"I'm sorry," he laughs, scratching at the back of his neck. "I'm definitely not the next Gordon Ramsay."

Nico has absolutely no idea who that is, but he laughs anyway. He figures it's some good chef or something. He doesn't know. He makes a mental note to look him up later (he most likely won't).

"Really, it's fine. I don't normally eat breakfast anyway," says Nico.

Percy frowns. "You don't?"

"No. I usually wake up too late or I'm just not hungry."

Percy suddenly looks very alarmed. "Oh shit. You have class today. What time?" Percy asks.

"Nine. What time is it now?"

Percy quickly checks his phone. Nico figures he could've done the same. "Uh...it's almost eight ten. Do you need to go?"

Oops. Yeah. Nico needs to go.

"Yeah. Damn. Okay. I need to leave like now. Just put the bacon in the trash...or eat it? I don't know. I didn't mean to make that sound so harsh, sorry. Okay, but, just let yourself out. Are you going out? I don't kn—"

"Nico, calm down. I'm leaving soon. Probably when you leave. Just go get ready, alright?" Percy says, smiling slightly. Nico sort of wants to kiss him. He doesn't though because that'd be a little weird.

Plus, he's straight, remember?

Nico only wishes he could forget.

"Wait, aren't you going?"

"Eh. I'll go tomorrow, I think. I'm back early anyway," Percy says.

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Well...see you soon!"

"See you later, Nico di Angelo," is the last thing he hears as he shuts the door.

* * *

Nico's first class goes by dreadfully slow and the absolute burning desire to jump out of the window doesn't help him at all. Will he honestly ever actually enjoy going to school?

No. The answer there is absolutely not.

When the class is dismissed and his professor glares at him once more, he quickly rushes out of the classroom and toward the library. He just wants to go somewhere quiet.

Once he settles into his usual place, he grabs his English textbook and starts studying. He has an exam in two weeks and he really wants to ace this one. He just wants to get out of school already or maybe decide his major already. Seriously. What is he going to do with his life?

About thirty minutes into his time off, Thalia and Annabeth come around the corner of the bookshelf and hang out between the bookshelves. Nico doesn't draw their attention. He doesn't really want to talk to anybody today.

"So, he's ignoring all of your calls?" Thalia asks, loud enough for Nico to hear. Nico sighs to himself. Seriously. He supposes he should feel sort of bad about how much he overhears things, but really, it's completely their fault. Why are they talking loud enough for the entirety of the United States to hear? Seriously. He could call the President and even _he'd_ be able to tell him what they said or is going to say. Nico already knows it.

"Yeah. I've called him three times in the past hour and he hasn't picked up one of them. And it's not like I normally do this. I'm not this type of girl, but you know what's happening with his mom...it's just tragic. I want to be there for him, but...it's like he's not letting me," Annabeth sighs. Nico's eyes widen. Oh. So, they're talking about Percy. Maybe, he just becomes attuned to what people are saying when Percy is going to be mentioned.

Okay, hopefully not because that'd be a little strange.

Also, Percy's ignoring all of her calls now?

"Yeah. I've called him and he didn't pick up for me either." Nico thinks that Percy might just be missing them. Thalia seems to agree. "Maybe, he's just not on his phone. Or it's on silent or something like that."

Nico nods, before realizing that's a little strange for someone who's sitting alone. Thalia has a point.

Annabeth sighs. "I don't know. I honestly think he's just ignoring me. Apparently, he got back in town yesterday because that's what Paul told me, but I'm not too sure. Where did he stay? I asked his roommate, but the guy was high as hell and said that he wasn't in. Said something about dolphins too..."

"Dolphins?"

Annabeth sighs again. "Yeah. I don't know. It's just...where did he stay at then?"

"I don't know," Thalia answers after a long pause. "Look. Why don't you just leave him be for a bit and then call him later on? See if he picks up then. And if he doesn't...then well, go over to his apartment and smash his head or something. I don't know. Whatever it is you do, Chase."

Annabeth laughs. "Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh, is this it?"

"What?"

"The book you were looking for?"

"Oh yeah, hey! Sweet! I need to read this for my Environmental class."

"Well, cool. Come on. Let's go check it out," Annabeth says, and Nico hears them walking away toward the front desk. He lets out a sigh of relief and puts his head down on his open book.

So...Percy's most likely ignoring all of his friends' calls, huh? Is it because of what he said last night? About how it was because they don't understand him? Would Percy pick up for him?

Grabbing his phone, he opens up Percy's contact info and presses the call button. He brings it up to his ear and listens to the rings echo through. When he's finally sent to voice mail, he just sighs and puts it back in his pocket.

It seems that he's not picking up anyone's calls, or he's just not seeing them.

Whatever. Nico lets out a soft sigh. It's not a big deal or anything.

Nico closes his eyes and breathes out deeply. He just wants to go home.

* * *

When Nico gets home, the first thing he notices is Percy's jacket on his couch. Okay. So Percy forgot his jacket. He puts his crap on his kitchen table and walks over to it, picking it up. The material is nice and just from holding it, he can smell Percy.

He decides to put it back down before he does anything he might regret.

He supposes he should tell him he forgot it.

**to: percy jackson!**

**from: nico**

**sent 2:26 pm**

**hey percy! you forgot your jacket at my house so?**

Why is Nico so blissfully awkward?

Percy texts back almost instantly.

**to: nico**

**from: percy jackson!**

**received 2:27 pm**

**oh prac. can i get it tonight? around 7ish or sometihng? is that okay?**

Okay. So seven is fine.

**to: percy jackson!**

**from: nico**

**sent 2:29 pm**

**yeah. that's cool**

Nico tries his best to ignore the summersaults in his stomach.

He pretty much fails.

He tucks his phone away and goes over to his home phone to check his voicemails.

He hopes his father hasn't called him.

The first two messages are just people trying to sell him stuff, which he deletes right away. All of this propaganda gets to be a little too much sometimes.

The next message is from the hospital.

"Hello. This message is for...Nico di Angelo. I repeat, this message is for...Nico di Angelo. I am calling to inform you of an appointment that is scheduled for ten o'clock in the morning on Sunday, the 21st. It is at NorthRidge Hospital with Dr. Jasons. To call back for questions, please dial..."

Nico calls back. After three rings, the phone is picked up.

"NorthRidge Psychology Department. How may I help you?"

"Yes. Hello. My name is Nico di Angelo and I was called today about an appointment that I have scheduled on Sunday at ten in the morning?"

"Nico di Angelo?"

"Yes."

"Let me check...ah yes. You have an appointment with Dr. Jasons at that time. Do you have any questions?" she asks him happily.

"Uhm, well, yes. I never scheduled an appointment, you see," he explains.

"You didn't?"

"No," he says.

"It says here that...Hades di Angelo called in and made an appointment due to his concern for the well-being of your health. It seems that Dr. Jasons agreed and scheduled it," she says.

"Wait. So, my father called in for me?"

"It appears so," she answers.

"But w-why? How can he even do that? He doesn't have legal control over me," he says.

"If he is concerned enough or seriously thinks something is wrong with your well-being then he is perfectly allowed to ask for an appointment for you. However, in the end, it is up for the doctor in question to decide, and it seems that Dr. Jasons agreed. Is this okay, sir? Would you like me to reschedule the appointment?"

Nico sighs. What is going on? "No, no. It's okay. Just keep it. Thank you. Have a good day."

"You too, sir," she echoes, and Nico hangs up quickly.

Nico sighs and falls back against his couch. It's lumpy as always and he's just noticing the ridiculous air conditioning again.

His father made an appointment for him? After that huge rant he gave to him the other day about how he didn't want to be shamed or something stupid like that? What was the bastard thinking by doing this?

He glances at the time and sees that it's almost three. He should definitely write that paper he has due for his Biology class. He groans. Damnit. He doesn't want to, but he picks himself up and makes his way over to his kitchen table, turning up the heat on the way over there.

It becomes noticeably warmer.

Good.

He's been too cold lately.

* * *

Jason texts Nico right before Percy is about to show up.

**to: nico**

**from: Your Grace**

**received 6:49 pm**

**hey, di angelo! so, remember that party i mentioned? well, it's this saturday at seven. my house. i'll text you the address in a minute. **

Nico raises his eyebrows in surprise. Jeez. How quickly can Jason organize parties? What does he even do in his spare time? Speaking of which, what does Jason do for money and stuff?

The next text that follows is the information and Jason asking him if he can come, and if he can, he can bring as many people as he wants.

**to: Your Grace**

**from: nico**

**sent 6:52 pm**

**probably. idk. i'll have to see, man.**

The doorbell rings and Nico stuffs his phone back in his pocket quickly. Percy's here.

He opens it and Percy smiles at him, all green eyes and lop-sided grin.

"Hey, Percy," he says.

"Nico. Sorry about the late-night jacket thing haha. I'm always forgetting things," he says.

"No, it's alright. It's not like I was doing anything important," Nico assures him, leading him inside. He grabs the jacket and hands it to Percy. It feels warm in his hands. He doesn't know why.

Percy throws him another too-gorgeous smile and accepts it back.

"Wow. Look at it. It's good as new! You really know how to look after long-lost jackets, Nico," he teases.

Nico rolls his eyes. "I had to learn because _someone_ keeps forgetting them."

Percy grins at him. "I wonder who that could be."

Nico lets out a laugh and watches Percy place the jacket over the crook of his elbow on his right arm. It looks comfortable. Nico should not be as jealous as he is. Damn crushes.

"Want some coffee?" Nico asks suddenly, trying to be funny.

He doesn't actually expect Percy to say "yes", but then Percy's nodding. "Yeah. Sure. Sounds good. I go back to work tomorrow by the way. I can't wait." His voice is dripping in sarcasm and it makes Nico laugh again as he heads over to the kitchen to make the coffee.

"Well, the world has been missing it's barista," Nico deadpans.

Percy laughs and walks around a bit, studying the place, jacket still on his arm. Nico briefly thinks if he has anything too revealing about him, but he knows all he has are a few photos and books. It's not as if he ever really "moved in". That would mean "home". Nico doesn't think he's ready for that yet. He pours the water in the machine.

"Yes, well, I am easy to mi—who's this?" Percy's sudden change of tone is what catches Nico off guard.

Nico walks over to where Percy's standing perfectly still. He's pointing at a picture of him and Bianca, that was taken a few years back before she died (obviously).

"Oh. That was my sister. Bianca," he explains. He tries not to let his voice catch.

"_Bianca?"_ Percy whispers, horrified, still as frozen as a statue. Nico freezes too. What's going on?

"Yeah. Why?"

"_Was?"_

"Yeah?" Nico asks. Percy has paled considerably and he's frowning at the picture. He glances at Nico, but when he sees Nico staring at him, he looks back at the picture. Nico watches him gulp loudly. "Percy?" He glances at the picture too. It's a good picture. They look happy. They were. "Did you know her?"

"I have to go," Percy suddenly says.

"Wait, what?"

But before Nico can even say anymore, Percy's gone, taking his jacket and words with him.

Nico frowns. What in the hell just happened?!

He looks back at the picture of him and Bianca and purses his lips. Bianca. Bianca. Bianca. What is going on?

What is the world trying to tell him?

He goes back over to the coffee machine and makes himself a cup.

He stares over at the picture the entire time, Percy's reaction to it lingering on his mind.

It tastes awful.

* * *

_***Surprise!**_

_**Reviews are so welcomed ;)**_

_**Bai guys :)  
**_

_**-DiAnna44**_

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**

My Twitter- **dianna_morales**


	10. part X

**part X**

* * *

Percy was ignoring Nico and Nico doesn't understand why. Obviously, it's because of that thing that happened over the picture of him and Bianca, but he doesn't know what to think about it.

He doesn't know if he wants to think about it. It's too strange for him, and those texts he's been getting have only been confusing him more.

It's as nobody wants him to forget about Bianca. He doesn't want to forget, but sometimes when he's buried under the pain of the world, he does. He wants to forget that he ever even had a sister. He wants to forget that she's dead and left him alone in this world with their deadbeat father and non-existent mother.

Even he if he did really want to forget, he wouldn't be able to.

It's ingrained in his very being.

Nico texts Percy a few times, but after the third text goes through with no response, he stops trying.

Why does everyone always walk out on him?

In the meantime, he focuses on his studies. He focuses on cleaning his house five times over. He focuses on learning random things to cook. He focuses on everything that isn't Bianca.

Before he even realizes, it's Friday afternoon, and he hasn't heard from Percy in two days. He doesn't even think he's talked to anybody in the last two days. He just goes to school, listens to the lectures, takes his notes, and then goes home only to study more.

Fuck. What is he even going to major in?

Why is Percy ignoring him?

Nico's walking through a park close to his apartment when his phone buzzes. It's a text from Jason, asking if he's coming to the party tomorrow. Nico almost doesn't want to go to this one either, but he figures that since he skipped out on the last one that he should probably go. Plus, he doesn't know if he can take another day of studying in silence.

He's driving himself crazy.

**to: Your Grace**

**from: nico**

**sent 5:37 pm**

**yeah, I'm coming. it's at seven, right?**

Nico sits on a swing, phone in hand, and he studies the only other two people in the park, which is a mother and her daughter. He thinks they're playing hide-and-go-seek. He doesn't really know, but he knows it's pretty cute.

Jason texts him back instantly.

**to: nico**

**from: Your Grace**

**received 5:38 pm**

**yup! see you there!**

Nico smiles and puts his phone away. He swings himself lightly and drags his feet on the ground, watching the dirt trail he leaves. He sighs. The last time he's been at a park was the day he finally decided to leave his father behind.

It was a good decision, he knows it was, but sometimes, he wonders how he'd be now if he handled it differently.

Maybe, it's better not to think about the "what if"s.

* * *

The house is large and the music is so loud, he heard from at least ten houses down. Nico wonders how in the hell the neighbors aren't complaining. The front steps to the house are far too many for just a simple house, and then he's at the door, but before he can even work up the courage to go in, two people push by him and in, laughing wildly. The door is swinging open and Nico is too struck by how much the party looks like it came straight out of a bad teen comedy to even comprehend that he's walking inside.

It's so, so loud. There's the stench of beer, sweat, sex, and strawberries in the air, and Nico doesn't know if he wants to be here anymore. Hell, did he ever really want to be here?

Nico sighs. He is almost twenty years old. He can handle this.

When he sees a girl throw up on someone's stomach, he immediately takes back his previous thought.

He stuffs his hands in his jacket and walks around, hoping to see at least one person that he knows.

He sees Leo first, but he looks to be chatting up some girl, so Nico doesn't want to bother them.

He walks around a bit, wondering how many people are making out and how many aren't. He can't tell which has a larger percentage. What is he doing here? He doesn't belong here. Sighing, he turns the corner and pauses.

Fuck. Damnit.

It's Percy. His hair is sticking up everywhere and his arms are wrapped up passionately around the girl he's kissing. It's Annabeth. Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be Annabeth? It's always Annabeth. It's always going to be some girl for him.

When will Nico realize that?

Nico wants to be sick.

Quickly, he rushes out of sight of the couple and goes to Leo. He needs someone to distract him. Someone needs to distract him. He finally gets close enough to Leo, but then Leo turns a bit and Nico is caught at the sight of Hazel Levesque, his half-sister he hasn't talked to since Bianca's funeral.

"Nico!" she exclaims, catching sight of him before Nico can turn around and escape. Too many memories. Where are they coming from? It's as if the world is stuffing into his face and no matter how hard he tries to turn and run away, he gets pulled back again only to be given seconds.

Leo turns at his name and smiles drunkenly when he sees him. "Nico!"

Even though they both said the exact same thing, both of them couldn't have made it sound more different.

"Leo…Hazel," he greets, sliding up next to them. Hazel is only staring at him, gold eyes wide and mouth open. Leo doesn't even notice.

"So, you came to this one, huh? Awesome! Spectacular! Live life to the fullest, Nico di Angelo!" he shouts, throwing his hands up in the air. Leo is very, very drunk.

"Well, I missed the last one, so I figured I owed Jason," Nico says, managing to let out an easy smile. Hazel's still staring at him. Nico hopes she doesn't say anything stupid.

"Nico," she finally says again. Nico pulls his gaze to hers once more.

"Hi, Hazel," he greets again. Leo finally notices that they seem to know each other.

"You know each other?"

"He's my—"

"Yeah. I met her in high school," Nico says before she can go on. He doesn't exactly know why he lied about who she was, but after everything that's been going on with his dead sister, he doesn't want anything bad to happen to the sister he barely knows.

Hazel looks mildly offended, but thankfully, she goes along with the ruse.

Leo doesn't suspect anything and just smiles at the both of them. "Well, that's pretty cool. Nico, do you mind if I steal your high school friend for a dance?"

"No," he replies. Hazel frowns at him, but then directs a smile at Leo when he puts a hand around his waist to pull her along. They disappear into the crowd of dancing college students and sweat.

Nico sighs and walks toward the kitchen. He's underage, but honestly, how many other people here are underage as well? He just wants to forget.

When he walks into the kitchen, he finds himself staring at Percy leading Annabeth up the stairs, dazed looks in both of their eyes. Nico blinks, and as they disappear up the stairs, he grabs the first beer he finds and downs it.

It tastes awful. He has to stop himself from coughing too much, and he squeezes the can, laughter and sex drowning in his ears. He wants to get out of here. Why hasn't he just left yet?

He rolls his eyes and grabs another drink, downing that as well. His mind feels numb and hazy and everything he wants to feel right now because Percy just took Annabeth up to most likely have sex with her because they are dating and that's what couples do. Percy's straight.

He needs to get over him. When will he get over him?

Nico sighs. He's miserable.

"Dude, just go over and talk to her," a loud voice says, interrupting Nico from his thoughts. Two guys have just walked into the room, and they seem to be having some heated discssion. It's a good-looking blonde guy and largely built Asian.

"I _can't_. When I even try to talk to her, I start to stutter and I end up saying stupid stuff," the Asian one says. Nico raises an eyebrow. The blonde one laughs and reaches for a beer.

"Well, I'm sure having one beer won't kill you, Frankie boy," the cute blonde one says. Frank glares at him.

"It most definitely will. I'll probably end up telling Hazel that I love her or something," he says. The blonde guy laughs, opens his beer, and takes a large gulp. Nico briefly wonders why he hasn't left the party yet. The blonde guy doesn't respond, but instead, glances around and catches sight of Nico. Nico blushes, not wanting him to think he was eavesdropping. Although, he sort of was, he supposes.

"You! Do you think he should man up and tell Hazel that he wants to go out with her?"

Two things settle in Nico's mind.

One: the boy is indeed talking to him.

Two: both boys seem to be talking abot Hazel, which just so happens to be the same name of his half-sister.

"Hazel Levesque?" Nico blurts out instead, completely disregarding the blonde boy's question. Both of them look surprised.

"You know her?"

"Uhm...yeah. Anyway, I think you should ask her out. She won't be mean about it even if she does say 'no', so just go for it," Nico says, ignoring the fact that he's sort of hypocrite for saying such a thing. It's different. Percy has a girlfriend. Hazel has...oh wait, there's Leo. Oops. Nico doesn't divulge that bit of information, sure that it would only make the guy even more nervous. Besides, Hazel and Leo aren't official or anything.

Nico focuses back on his reality and finds the blonde boy smiling at him while the Asian (Frank, was it?) glaring at him.

"See, Frank! Even the kid drinking alone thinks you should go for it!" the blonde exclaims.

"Yeah, okay, whatever, Solace. I'm going to go mope alone. Don't look for me," Frank replies, before walking off, leaving Nico and the blonde alone. Although it's not like Nico can't say he doesn't relate with Frank on more than one level.

The blonde laughs and Nico's gaze snaps to him. He puts out a hand for Nico to shake. Nico does.

"I'm Will Solace," the boy introduces.

"Nico di Angelo," Nico says, struck by how blue his eyes were. They were enough to rival Jason's.

"Cool," he says. "So, what _are_ you doing over here all by your lonesome self drinking?"

Nico's eyes flicker to the staircase where Percy and Annabeth disappered off to.

"Moping," he says, echoing Frank's earlier statement. Will makes a displeased sound.

"It seems everyone at this party is either with someone or unhappy because they aren't. So, who are you moping over? Is she single?"

"_He_ is not," Nico says before he can stop himself. Okay, so he just obviously outed himself to Will. It's not like he isn't out, but still. Will doesn't even blink at the pronoun change.

"Ah, so the worst sort of unrequited love? He straight?" Will asks, eyes wide with genuine curiosity.

Nico nods. "Yeah."

"Sorry to hear that," Will replies.

"It's a fighting process," is what Nico says. "But, I'll live." Will just nods and takes another drink from his beer. Nico doesn't know what to say. He panics. "Well, I'm off to mope some more. I'll probably leave soon."

Will immediately protests. "No! Come on, di Angelo. Let's go hang on the couch. You seem cool and I'm tired of seeing my friends go off and mope somewhere!" He grabs Nico's shoulder and ushers him to the living room.

Nico blinks at his statement. "We're friends?"

Will looks down at him. "'Course! I just declared it," he says. Nico simply nods. So, Nico's nonexistant love life brought him yet another friend?

Of course that would be how he befriends someone like this. He still allows Will to place him on a couch, next to someone who looks completely high and Will himself.

"So..." Will starts, "tell me about yourself."

Nico doesn't know what to say, so instead, he takes another large gulp of the disgusting beer, and Will realizes that's his cue to talk instead.

And he does. He talks for a while, and sometimes Nico's listening, but sometimes his mind feels too hazy and sometimes he just wants to sleep or run away and is that Annabeth rushing down the stairs?

Nico blinks and watches as Annabeth gets to the bottom of the stairs and sees how upset she looks. Will is laughing over something that happened sometime ago with him and his friends, but Nico doesn't really find himself to care all that much because Percy isn't with her.

Why isn't Percy with her?

He watches her rush out the door and into the night, and the person sitting next to Nico is now laughing wildly while Will is still telling his story.

Nico hiccups and decides that's his cue to take another drink. He takes at least five more, and hey, what happened to his beer? Nico stands up and excusing himself from Will to get another drink, he stumbles over to the kitchen, mind still wondering over what happened with Annabeth and Percy.

When he gets to the kitchen, he finally sees the man who invited him. Jason's talking to some very pretty girl and his arms are around her shoulder while she rolls her eyes at something he said. Nico can't help but notice how pretty she is, and how her perfectly-applied makeup only complements her.

"Nico di Angelo!" Jason exclaims, and he almost trips in response.

"Hey Jason Grace. Hahaha. Your Grace. Very funny," he replies, and Nico honestly doesn't even know how he's still awake. Jason stares at him, and the girl next to him laughs. Both of them are quite pretty and pretty together. Nico voices his opinion out loud and the girl laughs even harder. Jason's just assessing him with narrowed eyes.

When Nico reaches for another beer, Jason is pulling him back. "Uhm no. You are most definitely not going to get even more drunk, Nico. Here, I'll take you to my room. Just sleep, okay?"

Nico's walking, and really, how had he not noticed how drunk he is before?

Suddenly, Nico's in a very cold, yet comfortable bed, and before he even can acknowledge what's going on, he passes out.

* * *

Nico wakes up very confused. There's a loud sound going off right by his ear, and why is it pop music? When did Nicki Minaj become a part of his daily wake up routine?

Nico sits up and glances around, and when the realization of where he is and why he is here, he shuts off the annoying alarm that's blinking an astounding 9:00. What the hell?

He blinks a few times and tries to remember what day it is and if he has school today. He sighs in relief when he remembers that it's just Sunday.

Suddenly, Nico is very much awake. Doesn't he have...like an appointment today at ten or ten-thirty or something like that?

He gets out of the bed and walks toward the door. Jason's not in sight despite this being his room, and really, what college guy has his alarm set for nine o'clock on a Sunday?

Although, he supposes he should be grateful or he would've missed an appointement set up by his father.

When he walks out in the hallway, he immediately wishes he hadn't. Percy is shutting the door next to his, a tired and confused look on his face. When Percy spots him, he freezes. Nico doesn't understand why.

They stare at each other for a few seconds, and when Nico realizes that he's really not going to say anything, he rolls his eyes and passes by Percy without a word.

Whatever. Percy's an idiot, he's hungover, and he'll be late if he doesn't leave for the hospital now.

Nico sees Jason passed out the couch when he gets downstairs and he makes a mental note to thank him from stopping himself from getting even more drunk.

* * *

Nico arrives at the hospital just on time. He quickly checks himself in and yawning, he waits for Dr. Jasons to come get him. He doesn't wait long. He wonders if he can tell that Nico's a bit hungover.

If he does, he doesn't say anything.

Once he's settled in the chair, Dr. Jasons clears his throat and studies him for a few seconds.

"How are you, Nico?"

"Why did my father set this appointment up?" Nico retaliates. Dr. Jasons sighs.

"Your father is simply concerned for your health, Nico, which I hope, is well?"

"Yes," Nico says, a sour look gracing his face.

"Any thoughts of suicide or harming yourself, Nico?"

Nico pauses for a few seconds and that seems to be enough for Dr. Jasons' assessment. Dr. Jasons sighs and reaches for a piece of paper.

"Nico, are you sad? That simple, Nico," he says.

Nico wants to lie, but he knows that even if he did, Dr. Jasons would know the truth.

"Yes," he finally answers.

"How many times a day, would you say?" he asks. Nico thinks about it for a few seconds just to make it seem like he actually has to think about it.

"Constantly," he says. Fuck. It's too true. Too there. It's not supposed to be real. He just misses his sister. He just misses the good family he's never had.

Dr. Jasons nods as if he was expecting that answer, and honestly, Nico has never felt so pathetic.

"Nico, I want you to come in for another appointment in a week to have an official evaluation. Meanwhile, I want you to look up Escitalopram and Fluoxetine, which is most commonly reffered to as Lexapro and Prozac. Do you know what those are?"

Nico's stomach drops. Of course he does.

"Yeah. Uhm. Antidepressants," he answers. Dr. Jasons nods, and Nico feels sick. Everything is too real. He wants Bianca back.

"Yes, Nico. I'm letting you go now, but promise me you'll look it up. I'll tell Clara to set up your evaluation for this Friday at three in the afternoon. Is that okay?"

"Are you going to tell my father?" Nico asks.

Dr. Jasons shakes his head. "I am not to divulge any patient information to anybody else unless given consent by the patient."

"Please don't," is what Nico says. The doctor simply nods again.

"Have a good day, Nico," is what he finally says, and Nico almost wants to laugh. When was the last time he had a good day? Really?

Nico just leaves without a word.

* * *

Nico remembers that saying that "coffee cures hangovers" on the way back home, and before he knew it, he's headed over to the cafe. Nico doesn't want to go home. It's too cold and too sad and too everything at once, and it's not actually home. Home is supposed to be warm and loving and that's not what his apartment is.

He's there before he knows it and he walks in, immediately noticing Percy at the register. He looks tired. Nico imagines he looks the same. He jst doesn't have time for it today.

Percy sees him and Nico's already ordering his usual. It's awkward. It's tense. And this time, it's not actually Nico's fault.

While Percy is making his coffee, he clears his throat. Nico blinks. Is Percy actually going to say something?

He wants him to say something. And he does.

"Nico, I'm sorry," is what he does say.

"Did you know her?" Nico blurts out again, grabbing his coffee. Percy stills.

"Yeah. Sort of," he responds, and it just isn't _enough._

"What do you mean 'sort of'?"

"Well, I know she died. We used to go to school together, and I don't know Nico...it's just I saw her and you on that picture and you both looked so happy, and it's just...I have a picture like that with my mom too, but when I realized that your sister was _dead_ all I could think about was that my mom could be as well. That I could have a picture just like yours and she'd be dead. So, I ran. I'm sorry, Nico. Then, it just got awkward, of course, because I'm an idiot."

Nico stares at him. It sounds real. It sounds like it'd make sense, but some things just don't add up. Nico doesn't care though. He just wants it to back to normal. So, he just nods.

"So, we good?"

"Yeah."

"So, can I tell you a joke now to make it less awkward or?"

"A joke?"

"Okay, so Hermes, the Greek god by the way he's like a messenger of sorts and more stuff too bu-"

"I know who Hermes is, Percy. Continue," Nico says before he could go one forever.

"Okay, good. Anyway, so he signs up to be a part of a UPS commercial, right?"

"Okay?" Nico doesn't understand why Percy is telling him a joke all of the sudden.

"Okay, so, he gets to the site for shooting it, right? And the guy asks him who he is, so he replies with his name of course. Anyway, so the guy leads him inside and Hermes finds himself in a place with all of these people, and he's a little confused becase he was sure it was only him in the commercial. So he waits a bit, and then the producer comes in and says it's time to start. But, guess what?"

Nico sighs. "What?"

"Hermes soon realizes that he's not in the UPS commercial like he's supoosed to be! He's in a commercial advertising the dangers of herpes! The man thought he just said herpes and led him to that commerical instead!" Percy's laughing hard now, and Nico can only stare at him.

"That was the dumbest joke I've ever heard, Percy," he finally says, when Percy's finally managed to calm down a bit.

"Oh. You think so? Wait until you hear the one about Hades," he deadpans. Nico snorts.

"My father's name is Hades," he says. Percy's eyes widen.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Weird, right?"

"But kinda cool though," he says. Nico just shrugs. He doesn't think anything about his father is considered cool. "Thanks, Nico," Percy suddenly says.

"What?"

"Thanks for forgiving me," Percy says, and his eyes are wide and beautiful and Nico just wants to kiss him. He takes a sip of his coffee instead. What happened with Annabeth?

"You're my friend. That's what friends do." Nico's heart hurts.

Meanwhile, Percy just smiles.

"Yeah."

* * *

**_*Whew. I managed to get ahold of my dad's computer for a bit while down here. I'm in Mexico rn. :) Any of y'all live down here? _**

**_Also, I want you to know that I do not condone underage drinking. _**

**_Okay, anyway, reviews are always welcomed and highly loved as well. :)_**

**_Thanks for reading!_**

**_*EDIT: this is nOT solangelo. There might be some solangelo themes but this is still pernico. Also, I am also looking for a beta for this story. If you're interested, PM me. :)_**

**_Bai guys! :)_**

**_-DiAnna44_**

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**

My Twitter- **dianna_morales**


	11. part XI

**part XI**

* * *

_"Do you believe in ghosts, Nico?"_

_Nico frowns and puts down his Mythomagic cards. He turns to Bianca and she's staring at him, eyes wide and wondering._

_"I guess I could," Nico responds. "I mean, I would need some sort of proof or something."_

_"I do," she says seriously. Nico rolls his eyes. Wouldn't it make more sense for him to believe in ghosts out of the two of them?_

_"You do?" he asks._

_She huffs. "Well...yeah. I mean...I think it makes sense. For the spirit to remain behind sometimes if they weren't ready to go on," she says._

_"Go on where?" Nico asks doubtfully._

_"Well, I don't know!" she exclaims. "Just...somewhere, you know?"_

_He rolls his eyes again and picks up his cards again. "Yeah, yeah, okay, Bianca."_

_"Well, maybe...maybe, that's what I am."_

_Nico's cards fall to the floor. "What?"_

_"Well, I'm dead. Maybe, I'm stuck here. But wouldn't I be all bloody and broken like how you found me?"_

_"Bianca, I don't kno-"_

_"I'm dead, Nico. You miss me, don't you? Is Dad upset? I hope he is, the asshole."_

_"Bia-"_

_"It hurt, Nico. Dying, I mean. It sucked...I was...I was just so young. I had a life to live. You should've stopped me. Why didn't you stop me, you gay faggot?"_

_Nico's crying now. "Bianca...wha-"_

_"Is that what you are? I mean, you claim you like girls and guys, but all I've seen from you is a depressed little fag with sister issues. Isn't that who you are?" she hisses. Nico's screaming. His burns hurt. "Do you still wish you were dead, Nico?"_

_"Bianca...I-I don't know what's happ-"_

_"I wish you were dead."_

Nico wakes up crying.

* * *

Nico doesn't even try to get up in the morning. After his nightmare, he was too afraid to fall back asleep and ending up mindlessly watching a marathon of _Star Wars_ that was playing on television.

Damn. What's wrong with him?

He rolls over, his phone buzzing in the background, but he ignores it. He doesn't want to think about anything. He doesn't want to be here.

He's so exhausted. He just wants to stop.

Nico just wants to stop being here.

* * *

It's two in the afternoon and there's someone knocking down his door. Well, not literally, however, it could be true very soon if Nico doesn't answer it. He bets it's Percy.

"I'm coming!" he yells groggily, rolling quickly out of bed and exiting his room to go open the door. The knocking doesn't stop either. Ugh. Why is Percy here anyway?

He opens the door, already planning his excuse to get his crush to leave, but he's stunned to see that the person is, in fact, not Percy.

"Hazel?" he asks, blinking rapidly and yawning.

"Nico," she says. He blinks again trying to determine if his little sister was actually in front of him.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"I want to talk, Nico," she says.

"How did you even find my place?" he asks.

She studies him from head to toe slowly and sighs. "I asked Leo and Leo asked Percy. Percy almost didn't tell him, but after you were absent today, he went with it. He knows something is up, Nico, and honestly, I do too. Now, let me in."

Nico frowns, but steps aside nonetheless. She walks in quickly, shutting the door herself, leaving Nico feeling awkward in his own apartment. Hazel's always had the ability to do that to him.

He's only met her a few times, but those few times were all very important moments in his life. When he was twelve, she walked in on him trying to hang himself. All she had to do was start crying loudly and Bianca and his father came running. When he was fifteen, she gave him advice about his feelings toward boys and girls. She helped him through that even if it was only in an hour. It was important.

When he was almost seventeen, Bianca died. The last time he's seen Hazel was at her funeral where he buried himself on her shoulder.

After that, he left and never wanted to come back. Everything was just a reminder. Hazel was just a reminder.

But she was also his sister.

"Sorry, Hazel," he finally says, and Hazel freezes before turning to face him.

"What for, Nico?"

He droops his shoulders. "For not talking to you, I guess."

Hazel purses her lips. "Nico...I understand why you wouldn't want to speak to me. I mean, I wish you would, but...Bianca _died_, Nico, and I know that she was the only one really there for you. He's my father too, you know. I know how much of an asshole he is."

Nico can't breathe. Bianca is dead. He knows this. He's known this since it happened, but now there is someone actually here, telling _him_, and it's like he's sixteen all over again.

"Yeah," he breathes out because what else is he supposed to say? What can he say that doesn't keep reminding him of the fact that the only person who ever really cared about him is dead? What can he do?

Hazel reaches forward and tries to touch his arm and comfort him, but he flinches away from her. He doesn't want to be touched.

"I so sorry, Nico. I didn't do anything about anything and I know I should've. I just wanted to come and say that. You're important to me, Nico. Really. You are and I wanted to tell you that. I'll see you around, okay?"

And just as quickly as she was here, she's gone. Nico hears the door close with a soft shut and he collapses on the couch.

Damnit.

So, she basically came over to turn his world upside down again? Nico shakes his head to himself. No...he knows she came over here for what she said she did.

Of course she's been blaming herself.

Of course she blames herself because he blames himself.

He doesn't even really know why he blames himself.

He just does.

* * *

Nico's in class when his phone buzzes again. He frowns. He was sure he put his phone on silent not even an hour ago. He pulls it out and opens up the text on his lap, trying his best to at least try and be discreet. Not that it matters all that much. Paul is pretty chill when it comes to phones in his class.

**to: nico**

**from: unknown number**

**received 10:37 am**

**bianca is dead**

Nico gulps, reading the words repeatedly. Why now? Why right after that dream? Why is this fair? He quickly shuts off his phone and stuffs it into his jacket. He doesn't want to deal with this right now. He just doesn't.

He sighs and focuses his attention back onto Paul who's made the entire class laugh at something he made an allusion to. Nico doesn't even know what he's talking about, and even though Nico tries to focus on what he's teaching for the rest of the class, he can't.

He just can't.

* * *

Nico was a little tired of having a crush on Percy. He was just done with looking at the boy and thinking how cute he was and wishing he could just lean in and kiss the shit out of him.

He was tired of it.

He was back in his dreadful apartment, back to feeling sorry for himself, back to staring at himself in the mirror, wondering what the fuck was wrong with him.

Too pale.

Too scarred.

Too broken.

Too everything all at once and it was just _so much. _Everything. And Nico doesn't want to deal with it anymore. He doesn't want to keep feeling like utter shit, with his jackass of a father always on his mind and an unrequited crush that's never going to go anywhere.

What's the point?

Maybe tonight would be his last. Maybe, it was finally time to let go. It's not like someone was stopping him. It's not like he can't do it. If he does finally let go, he'll be able to control his life in his last moments, and Nico thinks that's a great thing.

His phone starts ringing and Nico rips his hands off his stomach. He didn't even know they were there. He didn't even know how he was studying himself in such a hateful way, and oh—his phone is still ringing.

"Hello?" he answers, voice shaking a bit.

"Hey, Nico!" Percy's voice exclaims through the phone.

"Oh. Hey, Percy," Nico says, staring at his shoes. He doesn't know if he really wants to talk to Percy right now.

"So, I was wondering if you'd like to come bowling with me tomorrow? I promised to teach you, remember?"

Nico's heart leaps to his throat and his stomach is spiraling down into an abyss of _what the fuck. _"U-uh, yeah, sure," Nico stutters out, feeling like a complete idiot.

Nico can practically feel Percy's smile through the phone. "Great!" Percy exclaims. "What time are you free then?"

"Uh, well, just like, after classes, I suppose," Nico mumbles.

Percy laughs. "Okay. Does four sound good then? Do you want me to pick you up from your place or do you just want to meet up at the café or the bowling alley? It's the same place we went to last time."

Nico has absolutely no idea where the alley is, so he just agrees to being picked up.

"Cool then. See you tomorrow, Nico, yeah?"

Nico's glad that this was his sign to stay here and he almost feels like crying. "Yeah, see you tomorrow, Percy. Thank you."

Percy gives another laugh. "Of course, Nico. It'll be fun. Well, Luke's glaring at me to get back to work as if there were actually people here, so I'll have to let you go now, okay?"

Nico nods quickly, before briefly realizing Percy is indeed not here with him. "Sounds good. Bye, Percy Jackson."

"Bye, Nico di Angelo," Percy responds, his voice reverberating through Nico's mind. The phone clicks off and Nico looks down at his phone before looking back and staring at his reflection in the mirror.

He smiles.

* * *

Somehow, the next day in class passes by quickly. He sees Percy during his free time off in the library of course, but neither one of them mention the bowling hang-out (date?) thing they're going to do.

Before he knows it, it's already 3:50 and Nico's freaking out. This isn't even a date...Percy has a girlfriend, for god's sake, but Nico can't stop how nervous he feels. He feels like he's about to throw up or something and he really needs to calm down.

His palms are sweaty and he's sitting on his couch, continuously tugging at his jacket. It's 3:56 now. Ugh. Why is this so goddamn nerve-wracking?

A knock on the door startles him out of his moody reverie and he blinks rapidly. Okay. So, Percy's early.

_Answer the damn door, Nico_, he begs himself since he's still just standing there, blankly looking at the door in panic.

He opens it quickly and there's Percy, already smiling at him. "Hey, Nico!" he says, and before Nico can even think about what he's going to say back, Percy has him in a tight hug that is way too warm for Nico's comfort in "stay calm" land. Percy pulls away. "You ready to become the best bowler in the world?"

"I already am, Percy," Nico responds, trying not to show how giddy he feels, and Percy laughs.

"You keep telling yourself that, di Angelo," Percy says. Nico bites his lip and closes his door, locking it, before following Percy down the hall.

* * *

The bowling alley looks exactly like it did the last time he was here, which, duh. It's not like it's been years since he's been here; except this time around, it was just Percy and him. Nico was freaking out.

_It's not a date. He has a girlfriend for fuck's sake_, Nico thinks, watching as Percy pays for both of them. Nico studies his back and wonders what made Percy want to go bowling all of a sudden. Maybe he felt bad about ignoring him? Nico doesn't know.

"Here you are," Percy says suddenly, breaking Nico from his thoughts. He's handing Nico a pair of shoes. They're his size.

"How do you know my size?" Nico asks suspiciously because yeah, that's a little strange. Percy laughs, noticing Nico's suspicion.

"You had a pair of shoes left by the couch when I was at your house and after you left, I saw them, and I don't know. I guess I was just curious. Was thinking that I could get shoes for a birthday or something. I don't know," Percy replies honestly.

Nico blushes and immediately looks down.

"Oh. Cool," Nico says, his voice coming out sounding tight. Nico mentally groans. He quickly thinks about how much he changed attitude-wise in just a day. Yesterday, he was staring at his reflection, considering suicide for one of the first times in a while, and today, he's out bowling with the boy he has a crush on.

Nico smiles widely then and Percy notices, seeming a little off guard, before breaking into a delighted laugh. Percy moves in and places his arm around Nico's shoulder, and Nico can't help but lean into him. He's warm and comforting and Nico's just really fucking glad that Percy called him last night.

"Bowling, yeah?" Percy asks, moving them toward a bench so they put their shoes on.

"Yeah," Nico agrees breathlessly.

Percy just squeezes him tighter to him.

* * *

They bowl for a while, Percy proving to be the worst teacher of all time since all he really does at Nico the entire time is make him blush and then laugh at Nico's failed attempts. Nico laughs a lot too, going along with it, and glaring at Percy when he snickers at his bowling balls falling immediately into the gutter.

After they go through two games, Nico loses once again as Percy smirks, leading the way back to the shoe return.

"You know, you didn't help me at all, you loser," Nico complains.

Percy shrugs. "I did my best, but then I realized it was more fun to watch you glare at the bowling balls roll pathetically down the gutter." Nico glares at him, only proving his point more. Whatever. They end up in front of the shoe return desk, and Nico briefly notices that the worker is kind of cute, but it doesn't really matter when he has an even cuter boy with him.

"When bowling is the only way I can live or die, and I end up screwing up, just know it'll be your fault when I die," Nico warns him, handing in his shoes to the amused looking worker. Percy hands in his as well, but doesn't look away from Nico.

"Oh not to worry. I'll just be there to save your ass from them," Percy says as seriously as he can. Nico considers screwing the fact that Percy's straight and taken and just kissing him, but like...no.

"Sure you will," Nico finally says and they walk out, smiling brightly. Nico won't ever admit to anyone how much fun he had because well, he had a lot of fun.

"He was kind of cute, wasn't he?" Percy breaks the sudden silence as they get outside, the cool breeze hitting them softly. Nico's breath hitches.

"What?" Nico asks, eyes wide as he stares at Percy.

Percy looks down at him, eyes crinkled up since he's still smiling and Nico doesn't have the slightest idea what the fuck is going on.

"The guy at the shoe register? Kind of cute, wasn't he?"

"Uhm—"

"I dated a guy that looked like him for a little bit before I met Annabeth. Kind of weird how some people look so much like others, right?" Percy reveals as if it's the most uninteresting and nonchalant thing to say. Nico's pretty sure he's gaping at him.

What. The fuck.

What the fuck. What the fuck? What the _fuck?_

"Uh, yeah, he was, I guess," Nico says, blinking and trying not to collapse from the shock he feels right now. Okay.

_So, Percy is not straight? No...what? That..._what_?_

Nico's honestly so confused right now.

Percy just nods and keeps walking toward his car, and Nico almost can't keep up from standing there and staring.

Nico just follows him.

* * *

The car ride home gave Nico time to realize that Percy is indeed, not straight. Not because Percy just admitted it to him like fifteen minutes ago, but because Percy never did anything to indicate that he wasn't.

How the fuck could Nico not realize that?

Just because Percy was dating a chick doesn't mean that Percy is straight. There are so many sexualities in the world, and Nico blames his negative self for not even considering such options. He had just been so sure that Percy was straight.

Well.

Apparently not.

He's still taken though.

"Here you are, Nico," Percy says, parking outside his apartment complex. "Do you want me to walk up with you?"

Nico shakes his head. "No, it's fine. Thanks for the offer though."

Percy nods, smiling. "Well, I had tons of fun, Nico. Thanks for accepting to hang out with me. See you in the library?"

Nico smiles then too. "Yeah, definitely. And...yeah, I had fun too. Thank you, Percy."

Percy studies him strangely then, and he quirks an eyebrow a bit. "You know...that's the second time you've thanked me for hanging out with you, Nico di Angelo."

Nico stills, but still manages to smile weakly back at him. "Well, I'm thankful, Percy. Like I said before, I don't have many friends." Percy just nods, looking at him strangely. Nico doesn't know what could possibly be going through Percy's head right now. He's probably pitying him to be honest. Nico doesn't want to dwell on that. "Well, I'll be going then. See you tomorrow, Percy Jackson."

He opens the door and closes it quickly, but not quickly enough to hear Percy's breathless "Yeah, see you, Nico di Angelo."

Nico tries not to dwell on it and just walks up, ignoring the fact that Percy is waiting for him to get inside before leaving. Of course he does that. He's Percy Jackson.

Nico unlocks his door and enters immediately, shutting the door behind him quickly.

And if he immediately lets out a breath that he didn't even know he had been holding and slumps against the door, no one needs to know. No one except for Nico's racing heart.

* * *

_***If you're looking for a sign to stay alive, this is it. Stay alive. I love you.  
**_

_**Anywayyyy, hopefully you liked it and leave a review yada yada yada. Also**_—_**hahaHAHAHAHAHA**_

_**Thanks for sticking with this loser and...just...yeah. :)**_

_**oH AND BTW I AM STILL LOOKING FOR A BETA. ANYWAY, YEAH. **_

_**Bai guys.**_

_**-DiAnna44 :)**_

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**

My Twitter- **dianna_morales**


	12. part XII

**part XII**

* * *

Thursday passes by quickly with Nico awkwardly trying his best not to make it obvious that he still feels giddy over the information that Percy is, in fact, not straight. He also gets another text from Jason, inviting him to yet another party he's holding this Saturday. Nico replied that he'd think about it.

But now, it was Friday and Friday meant he was going to get another evaluation done on him at three. He's had evaluations before. He's been diagnosed with depression before, but they said it went away.

Nico never really thought it had, so he's already prepping himself as to what to expect from this evaluation.

When he checks in, he doesn't even have to wait a minute before he's told he can go in. He walks in hesitantly, spotting a lady with a clipboard and a smile on her face.

"Hello. Nico di Angelo, I presume?"

"Yes."

She smiles again. Nico wonders how many people she smiles at a day. She gestures for him to sit down in front of her. They are both sitting at a desk. It's plain and brown and Nico just wants to leave already. She sends him an even wider smile, blinks two times, and sets her clipboard on the table in front of her.

"Well, let's begin, I suppose."

* * *

"Nico! You going to Jason's party?"

Nico's gaze snaps up and meets Percy's who is looking like the sun itself.

"Uhm, not sure yet. Did he invite you?"

"Oh, no, of course not," Percy says dismissively, but before Nico can comment, he's continuing on. "No, no, Annabeth was invited, so it made me wonder if you were too. Are you?"

"Yeah, I am," Nico answers. "Not sure if I'm going though."

"Oh," Percy says. "Where were you this morning?"

"What?" Nico is caught off guard.

"This morning? You weren't here," Percy says, eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh. Oh, yeah. I was at the doctor's," Nico answers lamely.

"Why? Are you all right?" Percy asks, smile slipping a bit, worry becoming evident in his expression quickly.

Nico reassures him with a laugh. "Yeah, it was just a checkup," he lies. Percy doesn't need to know about his stupid, little problems. He's not important. He briefly wonders when he'll be getting his results back. (Nico thinks he most definitely knows what his results are going to say.)

"All good then?" Percy smiles. Nico tries not to notice how forced it looks. When did this entire conversation become awkward?

"Yeah, all fine," Nico answers. Percy just nods, and takes out his phone a second later. Nico doesn't really know what to do, so he just stands there awkwardly for a moment before Percy heaves a deep sigh.

"Crap," Percy curses. He looks up at Nico, and gives an apologetic smile. "Sorry, di Angelo. Looks like I forgot about a presentation I have to do. See you later, yeah?"

Nico doesn't even get the chance to respond before Percy's turned around and rushing off.

What was that about?

* * *

When Nico gets home, he works on a paper for a class for two hours before he gets a message from Jason.

**to: Nico**

**from: Your Grace**

**received 3:32 pm**

**hey, di angelo! so, you coming to the party? you should really come. it's tomorrow, remember? plus there's somebody who wants you to come.  
**

Nico frowns at the text and quickly types out a reply.

**to: Your Grace**

**from: nico**

**sent 3:33 pm**

**yeah, I guess I'm coming. who wants me to come?**

It takes Jason three minutes to respond.

**to: Nico**

**from: Your Grace**

**received 3:36 pm**

**oh. you remember will? he wants to be your friend or something and apparently you left before you could actually meet you before sooo idk he's cool you know?**

Nico vaguely remembers Will, but he thinks he was cool. He doesn't really remember.

**to: Your Grace**

**from: nico**

**sent 3:38 pm**

**oh yeah. I think i remember him. okay. cool. starts at eight right?**

Jason sends back a "yup! see you then" and Nico is bored again. Honestly, just being reminded about the party reminds him of the weird conversation he head with Percy earlier. The same Percy who is in fact not straight.

Nico still can't wrap his head around that surprise. So does that mean his type is that boy at the bowling alley? Or does he even have a specific type? Is Nico Percy's type?

Nico sighs and realizes he seriously needs to stop wondering about this because it's only making him more sad. Percy's dating Annabeth regardless of his type, so there is really no point.

(He can still pine hopelessly. Sue him.)

After working on his paper for another hour, he gets another text. This time, it's from Percy himself.

**to: nico**

**from: percy jackson!**

**received 4:29 pm**

**so are you going to the party? **

Nico frowns down at the text. Percy's been acting strange.

**to: percy jackson!**

**from: nico**

**sent 4:30 pm**

**yeah, i'm going. you?**

Seventeen minutes later, Percy responds.

**to: nico **

**from: percy jackson!**

**sent 4:46 pm**

**apparently. see you there.**

Nico doesn't even bother to respond.

* * *

It was Saturday and the party was small compared to the others Jason had thrown. Supposedly, Jason's thrown parties so large that it involved more than several colleges. Whatever that means. This one, however, was smaller and it seemed more reserved for people Jason actually somewhat cared about.

"Nico!" Jason exclaims almost as soon as Nico walks into the door. He throws an arm around Nico's shoulders and quickly leads him to the living room. Nico sees Leo right away, and he's talking to Hazel happily. He sees Piper talking to someone he most definitely doesn't know and sees a few others he's seen at other parties, but never actually talked to.

"Is that Di Angelo I see?" a loud voice says and Nico turns, freaked out when he feels a hand come down on his head to ruffle his hair. Jesus Christ. What is it with people wanting to touch his hair all the time?

It's Will Solace.

"Oh, hey, Will," Nico greets, a little overwhelmed with everything that's happening.

"How you've been, Nico? Everything good?" Will asks, and Nico just nods. It's not like talking about all the shit in his life is exactly a good conversation topic. Oh, by the way, did you know I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder on and off for the past couple years? Yeah? How's the girlfriend?

Nope.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he says vaguely.

"Still in love?" Will asks.

"Yeah, still in love," Nico responds. Jason looks surprised.

"Nico, you're in love with someone?" he exclaims. Oh geesh.

"Yeah. It's really not a big deal," Nico assures, but Jason apparently doesn't think so.

"Who is it? Are they nice? Do I know them?"

"It's not a big deal, Jason. Honestly," Nico tries to say again.

"You're in love with someone?"

And ah.

Speaking of.

That's Percy.

Nico turns and levels Percy with a strange look. Percy is acting so strange. He doesn't understand what's going on.

"Yeah. And it's not a big deal," Nico says again, turning to glare pointedly at Jason who just raises his hands up in defense and laugh a bit.

"Whatever, man. Anyway, gotta head back to my girlfriend. I can see her glaring at me from behind me. Stay cool, di Angelo," Jason says. He slips back into his own party before anyone else can say anything else.

"Well, di Angelo, do you want to stand around talking about your long unrequited love or get in the party?!" Will asks Nico, throwing his arm over his shoulder. Honestly, Nico isn't one for physical contact, but he's willing to do about anything to escape Percy's unnerving gaze.

He smiles hesitantly and responds with a small, "Sure."

He thinks Percy was going to say something, but Will turns him around too quickly and pulls him away from everyone quickly. They're in a quieter place of the house now, the music only a dull roar in Nico's ears. He thinks they're in the garage or something. He doesn't know.

"That him?" Will finally asks, leaning against the wall, staring at Nico, blue eyes piercing his own.

"Who?" Nico asks, confused. Will sighs.

"Percy? Is Percy the one you're in love with?"

Nico stops breathing. Is he that obvious? "Yeah," he whispers, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. Will seems to sense that and places a comforting hand on his arm.

"Hey, it's fine. I was just wondering. You two were acting kind of weird and I guess I just kind of figured, you know?"

Nico was still freaking out. Will barely knew him and yet he caught up on that? "Am I really that obvious?"

Will laughs and shakes his head. "Maybe to those paying close enough attention, but no, I doubt it," he says.

Nico sighs and shuts his eyes for a moment.

"It just...it just happened. There was no stopping it. Honestly," he says, and it's so relieving is the thing. He's so happy that he can finally tell someone how he feels about Percy.

Will chuckles. "No, I get it. Really. I do. I've been in love. It sucks sometimes, but other times, it's the best feeling in the world."

Nico eyes him. "Did you break up?" he asks because where else could that story have gone.

Will shakes his head, a sad smile playing on his lips. "No."

Nico feels like he's missing a joke.

"No, we never dated. Actually, he got married just a month ago. I was invited. I went. We're good friends. I never told him, you know," Will says, and Nico draws in a breath.

Yeah.

He can relate to never telling.

"Oh. Well, sorry to hear that," Nico says, trying his best to offer sympathies. Will just shakes his head.

"It's cool, man. Honestly. No worries," he laughs. Nico just nods again, trying not to let his mind linger to Percy because he knows if he thinks of Percy, he'll just want to get drunk, which he hates because beer is disgusting. "Want to get drunk?"

Nico is quick to decide.

* * *

Nico is incredibly drunk. At least, he thinks that's the word. Will is dancing with some girl in some loud room with lots and lots of loud people and Nico kind of wants to talk to Bianca.

No, he really wants to talk to Bianca.

Oh, he's outside now.

And throwing up.

Joy.

He feels a hand on his back. It's warm. Nice. Comforting.

"Bianca?" he hears himself asking, another round of vomit making its way up his throat. Shit. He throws up again and the hand on his back is rubbing soft circles into his shoulder blades.

Nico wants to cry.

"Hey, Nico, it's okay. It's okay," a soothing voice says, and oh. That's Percy. Of course it's Percy. Who else would it be? Who else would luck deem fortunate enough to bestow the sight of Nico di Angelo vomiting on?

"Bianca," Nico cries again. Shit. When did he start crying? Finally, after what feels like hours passing, he stops throwing up and stumbles back, head dizzy, mind blurry. He looks up and meets Percy's concerned gaze.

"Nico, you okay?"

"You're not Bianca," Nico finds himself saying. Percy is very pretty. Pretty in the skater boy sort of way, with his cute, messy hair and ocean eyes. His face is soft-looking and angular and nice and Nico just wants to feel it on the palm of his hand.

So he does.

Percy goes very still as Nico lightly strokes Percy's cheek. Nico was right. It's soft and sharp and everything Nico is sure Percy is. God, where is Bianca? Shit.

"Nico?" Percy sounds worried now and Nico kind of just wants to go to sleep.

So he does.

* * *

Nico wakes up warm, which is new for him since he usually wakes up freezing cold since his air conditioner at home is shit.

Wait.

Where is he.

Nico bolts up, eyes blinking as he takes in his surroundings.

Okay.

So, he's in a dorm or something. He looks around some more. It looks like a dorm on his own college campus.

Okay good. He at least knows where he is (sort of).

"Coffee?"

Nico almost screams, jumping seven feet high and gasping loudly. He supposes that is why Percy Jackson is laughing now.

"Oh, shit! Your _face!_"

Nico doesn't understand what is going on, but Percy is shirtless and handing him coffee. Nico frowns and takes it, the cup feeling warm in his hand. He takes a small sip. It's good and it burns.

He doesn't mind.

"Is this your dorm?" Nico asks when Percy finally calms down. Percy grins.

"Yeah. Sure is. Luckily for you, my roommate is out of town for a while so I was able to put your ass on his bed after you passed out on me last night. Literally."

Nico almost drops his coffee.

"What?" he asks, completely mortified. Percy snickers.

"Yeah, you fell asleep standing up, dude. It was weird, but then you fell straight forward and landed on me. You literally passed out on me," Percy explains, a shit-eating grin on his face.

Nico is very, very confused. So Percy isn't acting all weird around him anymore? What's going on?

He's also completely embarrassed.

Coughing, Nico's eyes go wide and he stares resolutely down into his coffee cup. "Shit. Sorry? Thanks for...for like not abandoning me, I guess?"

Percy frowns. "Why would I abandon you?" The seriousness of the tone is what causes Nico to look up. He shrugs.

"Don't know. You've been acting weird around me," he admits. Well, there's no taking it back now.

Percy freezes like a deer caught in the headlights and Nico thinks he sees about fifty different emotions flit across his face before he finally settles on apologetic.

"Sorry about that. Life has been especially weird lately and I haven't really taken it very well. I'm not mad at you or anything if you're worried about that though."

Nico shrugs. "I didn't really think you were. I was just surprised with how you were acting. Warn me next time, yeah?"

Percy laughs; Nico tries not to notice how forced it sounds. "I'll try. Can't say though. I am entirely unpredictable. That's me. Unpredictable Percy."

Nico can't help but smile at that. "That was lame."

Percy just nods solemnly in response, shrugging. "Yes, it did sound better in my head."

"I feel like that's the case with everything you say," Nico teases. Why is Percy still acting so strange?

Percy fakes another laugh and pushes at Nico's shoulder a bit. "Hey. Rude."

Is Percy not telling him something?

"No, but really. Thanks for taking care of me," Nico says.

Does Nico even have the right to know what's wrong with Percy?

Percy smiles. "Anytime, di Angelo."

No, Nico does not.

* * *

_"You're annoying, Nico."_

_Worthless._

_"Bianca?"_

_Pathetic._

_Depressed and so, so pitiful._

_"Bianca, where are you?"_

_"I'm dead. Where are you?"_

_"Here! Bianca, I'm here!"_

_"And I'm here. Where are you?"_

_"Bianca?"_

_"It should've been you. You have nothing to live for anyway."_

_"Bianca, I-"_

_"I'm dead. What about you?"_

_"Bia-"_

_"What about you?"_

_"I'm dead too."_

_"Good."_

Nico wakes up and cries for thrity-seven minutes.

* * *

Percy is ignoring Nico again and Nico is frankly too tired to deal with it. So he ignores Percy as well. If Percy is going to act difficult again, then why should Nico interfere?

He still goes to the café though. He talks aimlessly with Luke over the counter, asking for a different drink this time because why not? Change can be good sometimes. He sits down, takes a sip, decides he hates it, and orders his usual.

Luke just laughs and Nico wonders how Percy could've known that he'd come today since he's not here. He always works these days.

Nico shakes his head.

His phone buzzes.

**to: nico**

**from: unknown number**

**received 3:00 pm**

**don't think about it**

Nico turns off his phone and takes a another sip.

Fuck it all.

* * *

"Nico, I need to talk to you," is the first thing Percy breathes out as Nico picks up the phone two hours later.

"Percy? What's wro-"

"I'm coming over."

Percy's gone and Nico doesn't know what is going on.

He supposes he should get dressed.

* * *

The knock on his door is long, hesitant, and paused. Nico himself pauses before opening the door to a shitty-looking Percy Jackson.

"I know Bianca," Percy quickly says. Nico pauses.

Bianca. Bianca.

Bianca.

Wait.

"Yeah. You told me you two were friends, right?"

"Not really," Percy says again.

"What do you mean?" Nico asks. What is going on.

"I'm really sorry, Nico," Percy suddenly sobs. "I'm really fucking sorry."

"What are you talking about? Are you okay? Is something up with your mom? Do you want to come in?"

"Sure," Percy says, walking in and practically collapsing onto the couch. Nico is so confused.

He awkwardly walks over to him and sits next to him. "What's wrong, Percy?"

"You know," Percy starts, "my mother used to tell me that some friends last forever."

"Percy?"

"She used to tell me that some don't. Same with girlfriends. Same with boyfriends. She told me that nothing was certain except for the things you made certain. It was all a choice, you know? That was what she was trying to say. That no matter what...I had a choice."

"Percy, I'm confused, did something happen to her?"

"No. Nothing at all. She's still in the hospital, unaware of the world around her. I wish she'd wake up, Nico. I really wish she would." Nico figures that there isn't really anything he can say right now. Percy takes a deep breath and Nico notices how he grips his knees. "It all comes down to the choices we make, Nico. I realized this such a long time ago. It's our choices that define who we are."

Nico thinks back to how many times he's wanted to kill himself, but didn't. He thinks back to laughing with Bianca. He thinks back to crying as he heard his father scream the worst sort of things at him and Bianca. He thinks back to when he was a kid and held onto his mother's hand so tightly as she cried for whatever reason it was. He thinks back to when he'd go to the park and try to pick out and name the stars. He thinks back to bowling with Percy, drinking the same coffee, crying, and laughing and how many days of the week he's happy he's alive.

He purses his lips and nods. Yes. Choices.

"I'm really sorry, Nico," Percy says again and Nico frowns.

"Why?" he asks. What could this boy have possibly done to make him so sorry to Nico?

Percy shakes his head. "I'm not a very great friend, am I? I come in at random moments and demand things and all I can talk about are my problems. You're a really good person, Nico."

_No, I'm not_, Nico instantly thinks.

Percy takes a deep breath. "And I'm making a choice right now," he seems to almost wonder out loud. "I'm making one right now, Nico. Do you understand me?"

Nico just shakes his head. Percy is miles away.

"They told me that she may never wake up."

Nico thinks he may cry.

"I don't love Annabeth like I used to and I don't know what to do about it."

Nico bites his lip, wondering why shit happens to good people.

"I think I've made a mistake, Nico. I'm sorry. I will try to be a better friend to you."

Nico has no idea what is going on.

"I'm going to go now. I'll see you soon, yeah?"

He's standing up and he's left before Nico can even let out a breath.

Percy Jackson.

Percy Jackson, why does it seem that your heart is broken?

Nico understands far too well.

* * *

_***I hated this chapter so much. Just as in it was incredibly difficult to write. Honestly. Ridiculous. I've rewritten this chapter dozens of times now. And I'm still not satisfied at all. Ah. Well, it'll all make sense in the end. How many thought of 18 different conspiracies by now? lol.  
**_

_**Anyway. **_

_**Happy New Year! Happy late every other holiday wHOOPS. Expect for things to happen in the next chapter. :)**_

_**As always, it's nice to hear your thoughts on this story. :)**_

_**All the love,**_

_**DiAnna44 ;)**_

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**

My Twitter- **dianna_morales**


	13. part XIII

***hey- so SPOILERS, but also TRIGGER WARNINGS (so if you have specific triggers then you should read this to make sure it's safe to read), so I never really do a foreword, but this chapter is pretty triggering when it comes to psychosis, not eating, PTSD, more cussing than usual (the word "fuck"), relapse in depression (worse than usual[this is a pretty sad chapter ngl]), and suicidal thoughts (I apologize for not triggering that before btw :/ ).**

* * *

**part XIII**

* * *

"I've been...I've been getting these text messages," Nico says warily as he watches Dr. Jasons scribble on his notepad. Dr. Jasons looks up at him and frowns.

"Text messages?" he asks.

Nico sighs. He had gotten another one last night and the night after that and all at the same time as well. He nods. "Yes."

Dr. Jasons still looks confused. Nico can't blame him.

"From who?" he asks Nico. Nico takes a deep breath and pulls out his phone.

"From...well, there from...I don't really know actually," Nico answers vaguely. He gives the phone to Dr. Jasons, pulling up his messages, knowing that the unknown number was the last one who texted him.

Dr. Jasons's frown deepens when he looks over the screen. He looks back up at Nico. "From...Percy?"

Nico shakes his head. "No, not him. The one above him."

Dr. Jasons looks back down at the phone. Then, back at him. "Nico, there's no other message. I mean, there's Percy, Hazel...Your Grace?"

Nico frowns and reaches forward and grabs the phone. He sees the unknown number string of messages and opens it, handing it back to Dr. Jasons.

"Here!" he exclaims, pointing to the last message, which says, "**Don't do it**" when Nico had been feeling particularly down again. Dr. Jasons just stares at the phone.

"Nico, there's no message," he says.

Nico shakes his head. "It's right _here_."

"Nico? There's nothing there," Dr. Jasons says again.

Nico looks back down at the phone. It's right there! Why can't he see it?

"But...but, it's right here. I can see it right now...I can read you the messages if you'd like?" Nico asks, desperation laced in his tone. What is happening what is happening what is happening? Dr. Jasons looks concerned.

"That'd be good, Nico."

And so, Nico does. He starts from the beginning, and Dr. Jasons stops him when he reads out "**Bianca**" as the answer to Nico asking who it was. It's then that Dr. Jasons starts writing something down on his little clipboard again. Nico just continues to read and when he gets back to the most recent messages, he lets out a large breath and looks to Dr. Jasons for some kind of clarity.

Dr. Jasons just smiles sadly at him and hands him a piece of paper.

It's a prescription.

"I'm prescribing you aripiprazole, or abilify, Nico. It's an antipsychotic medication and I want you to come in again in a week or two so we can do proper blood work and tests. I don't want you to start this medicine until after we have your tests. We might have to prescribe you quetiapine, or seroquel, instead, but I think abilify will work just fine. I'm sure you must be very confused, Nico, but we've been talking for a while now, and after what you just told me, I think you're experiencing a type of psychosis that is caused from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Psychosis is how we classify... uhm... schizophrenics. I don't believe you are a schizophrenic, but I do believe you are unfortunate enough to be going through symptoms of it. I'm really truly sorry, Nico."

Nico doesn't think he hears his heartbeat loud enough. He doesn't think that the walls are closing in on him quick enough. He doesn't think the sky is pushing him down fast enough. He doesn't think he's breathing enough and he's terrified.

Psychosis.

Psychotic.

He looks back down at his phone and he can't read the words because they're too blurry.

His mind is chaos.

* * *

Percy texts Nico he's sorry two days later, and Nico doesn't know how to feel about it. He doesn't know how he's supposed to feel about anything. Is that what psychos think? Do they think at all? Do they ever stop thinking? Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Is he psychotic?

He wants to bite down on his wrist until it's bleeding everything he feels.

Nico leans back against his couch, staring at the picture of Bianca across the room. Dr. Jasons said he was imagining it all.

Nico pulls out his phone, and reads through the messages, not understanding how what he's seeing right in front of him isn't actually real. There has to be some kind of mistake, right? God, _please_ let there be some kind of mistake.

He feels like the world is falling on him, but he doesn't think he doesn't like it.

Nico decides for the fourth time in his life that he doesn't like being alive.

He decides not to text Percy back.

* * *

Nico is hungry for the first time in three days, but when he opens his cabinets, he realizes all he has left is the coffee he has in a bin. Some special coffee that he rarely goes out and buys because he's rarely made his own coffee at home.

Nico wonders what would happen if he poured scalding hot coffee on his face, and if it would be enough to kill him. Fuck. He misses Bianca so incredibly much. Why why why.

He shuts the cabinet with a quiet press of a hand. His hand burns. Everything burns.

The world is fucking burning, and Nico just wants to cry for ages.

So he does.

* * *

He's missed way too much school, and Nico's worried that he might not receive credit for some of his classes. He emailed some of his teachers, explaining that a very personal problem has occurred, and he's spending time in the hospital, and even though most were understanding and emailed him his work, Nico still felt like everything would simply be a Waste in the end.

So he gets out of bed that day, manages to let himself buy a muffin, eats half of it before throwing it away before he throws up, and goes through the first class he has that day silently and depressingly.

He's been ignoring everyone, and Nico knows that he doesn't owe anything to anybody, but he still feels guilty about it. He considers them his friends, and he hopes they think the same of him. At least, he thinks a couple of them are his friends.

He doesn't want to be a bother, really. That's it.

And if not being a bother means that Nico turns his phone off or just leaves it in his room to constantly charge then that's how he'll do it.

He's already a bother to himself, to his doctor even, and don't forget about his fucking _father. _

_Even Percy._

Nico misses Percy. Not in the sort of way he misses Bianca, of course. No, it's nothing like that. He misses Bianca in a way that it never leaves the back of his mind. He finds her in everything he sees somehow, and wants to curl up and wait for her to come home and save him from his thoughts like she usually did. He misses Bianca, and her comfort, her safety, the secure feeling that Nico felt when he was with her. He misses her so _goddamned much. _

Nico misses Percy in a completely different way. He misses Percy's small smile, or the way he makes the worst fucking jokes, and still cracks up like it's the funniest thing in the world. He misses the way Percy gives himself to what he's paying attention to, and the way that Percy would look at him in the eye when they were talking to each other. Nobody else really looks at Nico in the eye anymore.

Especially strangers. Especially strangers because they can tell that something is fucked up with Nico, but they don't know what. Maybe Percy is a stranger then.

A stranger that he's in love with.

'_Don't talk to strangers_', he remembers Bianca telling him constantly when he was just a child. She was a child too, but back then, she was a superhero.

_Too late,_ Nico thinks sourly. _Too fucking late. _

* * *

_"Nico!"_

_No, please not again. Not this shit again please please please please please please ple-_

_"NICO, STOP LIVING!"_

_Please please please please please please please please plea-_

_"IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!"_

_I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I kn-_

_"WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY?"_

_ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok _

* * *

Nico feels like a living zombie, which is irony in itself. College never seems to end, but Nico somehow still does his coursework. In fact, it's all he ever does. He does nothing but his coursework. If he stops doing his coursework then he starts to think of darker thoughts.

Everyone continues to try and contact him, and Nico isn't sure if they're unaware of his situation or are trying to get him back on his feet. He doesn't really know anything anymore.

Whatever, honestly. Whatever and fuck it all to everything.

Nico's impressed he's still living, honestly.

Whatever.

* * *

Nico finally got his blood work done today, and now, he's back at home with a packet of info about the prescriptions they are thinking about giving him and a little BandAid patch over the vein in his right arm.

Nico's back at home now, skimming through the the packets when he hears a knock on his door. This isn't the first knock he's heard in the past week and a half, but it is the first time he doesn't stop to think about how he doesn't really want to answer the door and deal with someone else when he can't even deal with himself. He's opening the door before he knows it, and Nico isn't even surprised anymore to see Percy on the other side.

Percy lets out a small smile upon seeing the door open, and Nico respectively. Nico doesn't say anything.

"Hey, long time, huh?" Percy says. Nico nods. "Can we hang out somewhere today? Or are you busy? Sorry, I did text you, but well, you're not really responding? I don't want to seem intrusive though so if you don't want to talk to me, you can just say." Nico purses his lips, and Percy goes on. "So basically, would you mind hanging out with me today?"

"I wouldn't mind, no," Nico finally answers. "Where do you want to hang out?"

Percy shrugs. "Just not the café. Funnily enough, it's not all that fun being at the place you work when you aren't working. How about a park? Or a library? Or anywhere really, I don't know, sorry."

Nico shrugs. "Any of those places sound good to me." Percy nods, but then Nico gets an idea. "Actually... I have an idea."

Percy smiles. "Then, lead the way, Nico di Angelo."

* * *

"We're in a cemetery," Percy decides to state when Nico finally stops in front of his sister's gravestone. Nico nods solemnly, but with a small smile on his face. This is weird. He knows it is, but he's been thinking about doing this for a while now. After making a short stop at some shop, Nico holds the flowers tightly, grasping onto them like he grasps onto his memories of Bianca.

"This is Bianca's," he says, gesturing to her gravestone. Percy's eyes widen, and Nico watches to see if he'll freak out like he usually does and run away.

This time, however, Percy takes a few breaths and gestures to one of the flowers from the bouquet. "May I?"

Nico nods and plucks one of the forget-me-nots out from the bouquet. He hands it to Percy, who delicately turns it around between his fingers. It's as if the flower is dancing against Percy. Nico purses his lips thinking that's strange.

Too much about Nico is strange.

Especially his thoughts.

Nico watches as Percy takes a deep breath and finally bends down and places the flower on top of the headstone. Nico thinks he hears Percy whisper something, but he doesn't really hear it and he's not about to ask. After a few long seconds drag on, Percy straightens up, clears his throat, and moves out of the way for Nico. Nico smiles at him, and Percy tries to manage a smile back.

Nico tries not to think about that too much.

He takes Percy's place, and bends down as well, placing the flowers next to Percy's.

"I miss you," he says. He has more to say. Nico knows he does. He's been thinking about this for weeks now, and he knows he has more to say, but Nico can't feel anything except for his throat constrict and his mind wash away into nothing. Nothing nothing nothing. Fuck. Percy's right behind him; maybe he shouldn't have brought him. "I miss you, Bianca," he repeats.

Damnit damnit damnit. That can't be it. Nico stands back up.

No no no you have more to say. _Is it really you? Is it?_

_Are you the one texting me? How? You're dead, Bianca. How? How how how how how how how how how ho-  
_

"Nico?" Percy asks, and Nico blinks, his thoughts cutting off abruptly. What was he thinking about? Why is he here? What the fuck is happening to him?

"Let's go," he says. His voice is scratchy. Nico wants to claw at it. He also wants to kiss Percy. Fuck. Percy is still here. "Come on, where to now?" Nico asks, attempting to change the mood. _Light-hearted_, he thinks, _go for light-hearted_.

Percy eyes him warily, but shrugs nonetheless. "I'm following you today, di Angelo."

Nico can't help but smile a bit at that.

* * *

They ended up going a different café because they're not original and enjoy simple decisions. Also, Nico made one off-hand comment about how they weren't having coffee like they usually do, and Percy declared that ridiculous before dragging him off to another café. Nico truly believes Percy has been to every single one in town.

What a dork.

They both order their usual and sit down across from each other near one of the tables in the back. Not like anybody was really here anyway except for a few stranglers coming in and out and that one girl on her laptop with skull headphones over her head.

"So, what have you been doing, Nico?" Percy asks. Nico grimaces before he can stop himself. He shrugs.

"Living," is what he replies with because well, it's the truth. Even if it's just a blanket-statement to cover everything else up.

Percy stares at him for a long while, and Nico shifts uncomfortably under his gaze.

"I'm glad you're living," Percy finally says, and Nico stills. Holy shit.

Nico gulps, and nods, trying to push down the tears that are threatening to come out. He is not going to cry. He is so fucking tired of crying.

"Thank you," he finally lets himself respond. "Thank you, Percy."

Percy nods, a little smile on his face, and his green eyes are dancing. Everything is dancing, and when Nico is with Percy, he's a little less sad and a little more happy.

"Percy Jackson, and Nico...er di Angelo?" the barista calls, and Percy immediately stands up to retrieve the drinks. Nico isn't left alone for long, and now he's quietly sipping on his coffee.

Percy is too. It's quiet, but it's nice. Comfortable. Understanding.

Nico prefers this feeling over any other.

"So how are you?" Nico questions, wanting to steer the conversation in a direction he doesn't mind at all. Percy- well, he never minds Percy.

Percy blinks a few times. "Er, I'm good, yeah. I don't know. I don't really know what I've been doing recently. I'm kind of just...here," he ends. Nico bites his lips. That's far too understandable. He's about to try and offer something else to say, but Percy goes on, a defeated slump in his stance. "I broke up with Annabeth yesterday."

Nico stops moving his cup to his face, and sets it down as quietly as he can, not wanting to be any sort of bother to anybody, especially Percy. He broke up with Annabeth?

"Why?" he asks. He knows why. He knows why. Percy told him.

"I don't think I can love her the way she loves me anymore," Percy mumbles. "I haven't been a good boyfriend, and I think that the situation I'm in now has fucked me up so much that I couldn't go back to pretending like it was the way before. I...I just...I pretend with her too much. I felt like suffocating at the end, and I knew that I wasn't making her happy either. I was suffocating both of us, and for absolutely no reason at all except for my own mind going insane."

Nico is stunned into silence. Percy takes a deep breath and then slowly drinks his coffee, not offering any more, but not seeming to expect anything from Percy either. Nico doesn't really know what to say. What would help? Does he even have the right to help? God, who _is_ he to Percy?

"I know she'll be happy again. Maybe not right now, but she will be. It's good that you were thinking of her," is what Nico advises. Percy gives him a thankful smile.

"I wish she didn't have to be hurt. I really do. But... I know I would have ended up hurting her more if I let it continue. I did love her. I really did. I just can't really deal with it right now? Like? I need to find myself again or something like that. I don't know. It's only been a day, and I know it'll get easier as time goes on. But I think I just need to focus on myself right now. Do you understand?"

"Sort of," Nico says. It's the truth. Nico does "sort of" understand. On one hand, Nico needs to worry about himself more and take care of himself, but on the other, Nico doesn't give a single shit about himself. He could be hit by a bus on the way home, and that would be just a dozen less problems he'd have to deal with.

Plus it could be a chance to be with Bianca again. It could be a chance. It's not like he knows what happens after death. He has no fucking clue. He doesn't like thinking about it, but if there was even the smallest of chances that if he died, he could see his sister and mother again then he wouldn't be completely miserable going into death.

He might even embrace it. Death could be a friend. But also a deadly and dangerous foe. Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

"Nico?" Percy asks. "You still there? You kind of zoned out."

"Yeah," Nico answers. "I'm still here."

The statement has a tone of finality to it.

He takes another sip of his coffee.

* * *

Percy drops him off at his apartment an hour later, and as soon as Percy leaves, the feeling is back. The Feeling. Death and pain and hatred and emotions that turn him into Nothing.

Nothing.

That's what he is.

His phone vibrates in his pocket. He pulls it out.

**to: nico**

**from: percy jackson!**

**received 5:24 pm**

**hey nico. you're a good friend :) tahnks for evrything :) see you soon, yeah?**

A friend. Friend. Maybe he is something.

**to: percy jackson!**

**from: nico**

**sent 5:24 pm**

**yeah. see you soon :)**

* * *

***_Ah it's been a while. So sorry. Writing has been especially difficult for me, but life goes on, as does time. Anyway, I wrote this surprisingly quickly in the end of things. The first 1,000 words had been written out for a long time, but over the course of the past three days, I finished it. :) thank "heathens" by tøp for that haha. kill me  
_**

**_Also, if you need to talk to somebody, I'm here :) I really do appreciate all of you. thank you so much. _**

**_I don't know when I'll have the next chapter ready, but be assured it'll come. _**

**_Much love,_**

**_DiAnna44 :)_**

My FanFiction Facebook Page- **DiannaFanFictionWriter**

My Tumblr- **iwannapandanamedchubs**

My Twitter- **dianna_morales**


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